Exit

By GigglyAmbar, Washington, DC

Why are you here?
Bothering me, wasting my time, you say
you're helping me --> yeah whatever. Go away, get out of my life.
I am done with you and who you've made me become. I'm moving on and
leaving you behind. You have no place in my heart, mind or body.
You've done nothing but pull me down and leave me there.
I've hit rock bottom because of you and I am not going back.
To bad for you > I found my way out.
I'm sick of you. I 'm asking you to leave and there is the door.

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RayBaytheDinosaur said...
Oct. 17, 2011 at 8:18 pm:

The concept was really great but maybe you could work on your rhythym a bit so it flows better, I have alot of problems with that too lol but other than that it's a great poem =D

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animalluvr4evr said...
Oct. 16, 2011 at 5:00 pm:

I wish I could get the courage to actually say this to the people in my life that constantly bully me every day. Good job! :) If you could, I would really appreciate it if you could read my poem called "My Love" that I entered into the poetry forum. It is my first poem that I have ever written and I made it special for my boyfriend and I would really like to give it to him this Friday. I would love your input on how I could make it better! :)

GigglyAmbar replied...
Oct. 16, 2011 at 7:25 pm :

Of Course I will and thanks !! When people bully others it's because they have their own problems or are just followers. Never be afraid to speak your mind. Whoever is bullying you is just pathetic.

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WriterDancerLover said...
Jul. 31, 2009 at 8:35 pm:

Hi! Thanks a lot for the comment on my poem. =] Um tips? Well, the best advice I could give is to always have a pen or pencil and a small notepad with you to jot down ideas. When I sit down and intentionally write, it doesn't usually work out, but when things come spontaneously it has a better effect. And another thing I do is read my poems out loud when I finish them to work out line breaks and rhythmic issues. Again, thanks for the comment, and keep on working with the passion you have! =]

wish_u_were_here replied...
Oct. 16, 2011 at 1:55 pm :

This poem is wonderful! I loved how you mixed your powerful words with >'s and casual dimissal--very creative. There were deep lines that I could totally identify with, and also the simple last line that made me think maybe I could let it go. :) I also thought your line breaks were excellently placed.

Don't forget the "to-too" difference, though.

Marvelous work!

GigglyAmbar replied...
Oct. 16, 2011 at 3:22 pm :

Thanks, and yeah I've re read my poem so many times I didn't even notice the mistake. Thanks again