I forgot how to fly

So down I fell.

To think I might die,

But yet, not to yell.

My legs swayed left,

My mind flew south,

And yet I was calm,

No scream left my mouth.

Instead I thought hard

Of what I forgot,

Like something I clung to

Yet something I fought.

Racing in circles

While spinning in same.

What did I fall from?

From where was my pain?

Wind whipped tighter,

Falling with speed.

My arms, they had failed me,

My head took the lead.

“Downward” It cried.

And downward we went.

My heart with no power,

My energy spent.

Thinking,

No, not.

Breathing,

No thought.

Reeling,

Flailing,

Finally Wailing,

Dreading,

Regretting,

Don’t know where I’m heading.

Forgot how I got here,

Or how I once flew,

None of it fills me.

The fall is what’s true.

No more forgetting.

No thinking at all,

But one last thought grabs me:

“This freedom you called”

Then nothing.

No rhymes.

No confusion,

No wonder,

Nothing.

Just the fall.

The fall.

I fell.

Fell

Fell

Fell

Fell

Fell

Dip.

Sploosh.

The water folds around me as my thoughts begin to come back,

My mind begins to wander on a long, confusing two-track.

My first thought was to stay afloat

For the next fall would mean death.

My next, about that fleeting thought,

That ended thoughtful breath.

What freedom did I call for?

Is it why I took the fall?

But my arms stilled floated limply,

And my thoughts the water stalled.

Once again the falling,

But now without the breath.

My brain then moved at sonic speed,

To somehow stop my death.

I looked at my pathetic arms

The way they flapped and moaned.

“What made you ever think that they

Could make it on their own?”

I look around so quickly,

For I hadn’t thought that phrase.

I checked around my darkened world.

There were none before my gaze.

Then I got angry.

I was tired of thinking.

My thinking was useless

In a world where I’m sinking.

So I tried to think nothing,

Just fell once again,

But the voice was not done with me,

One phrase crept back in.

I knew not where it came from

In my ocean-filled cup,

But a little voice caught me

With one thought:

“Look up”

And for the first time since my fall from the sky,

I turned my eyes upward, and started to cry.

Standing on water,

Looking at me,

Was the Lord Jesus,

In power and glory.

Then every memory came back to me.

I knew why I’d fallen:

I thought I’d be free.

I remembered now that I never could fly.

I’d simply been carried by him at my side.

But my prideful mind thought to go on it’s own.

I craved independence,

And I had let go.

But even though I left him,

In my foolish pride,

He stood on the water,

Seeing me through the tide.

I realized then I could continue my fall,

Or I could reach upward,

And Him I could call.

And so, with my might,

And a slow muffled cry,

My arm broke from lameness,

And shot to the sky.

And with my eyes upward,

My arm straight and free,

Jesus leaned over,

reached in,

And then caught me.

Soaring is hard, cause no one can fly.

(Though many are prideful, and think they can try)

But I will come soaring

To the Heavenly door

Cause my Savior has caught me,

And I trust the Lord.