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Who am i?
Eagar, excited
for the new year
with my new book-bag and pencils
notebooks and shoes
But this time
it’s different, you see
this is not elementary school
anymore
more and more teasing
crueler and crueler
more and more pressure
crushing me
more expectations
lurking in the shadows
more people waiting
to laugh when I fall
everything changes so quickly
so fast
until I wonder
Who am i?
I want to fit in
I want to have friends
I want to acceptance
I want more than I have
Anything, anything
to gain what I desire
If everyone approves it
I will surrender
Heavy black liner, shadow, and gloss
a hard, fake mask of makeup
smeared onto my face?
I will do it, I will
Tiny tiny skirts and low cut tops?
I will buy them, and I will wear them
Lie to my parents and yell at my brother?
Yes, alright. I promise I will
Go up to boys
And let their eyes and hands
Wander?
I will let them
I will, I will
Because I don’t matter
It’s everyone else that does
Yet all this doesn’t help- I am still alone
All by myself
I gave everything up, and still it’s not enough
I thought I would be happy
But I was wrong
I am still wondering
Who am i?
A new day begins
I want to be free
to fly up, up high
Not to stay grounded
with everyone else
I wash my face
I change my clothes
I apologize to my family
And rediscover my dignity
No more following
and no more pandering
Who am i?
Well, I know now
The truth is,
I am me.
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