Vicious Feelings | Teen Ink

Vicious Feelings

February 2, 2019
By Bruvton DIAMOND, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Bruvton DIAMOND, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
55 articles 2 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They don't think it is what it does, but it do." ~Oscar Gamble


Bullets from life tearing through my chest.
I try to survive, I am doing my best.
I turn to my friends, who are my bullet-proof vest.
But the gunshots of life will never let me rest.


Always under pressure, never enough.
Finding the strength to work gets harder as dusk comes around.
I run on anxiety, controlled by my thoughts.
No matter how much I try there’s always a voice inside my head I can’t get rid of,
Telling me I’m no good, that I am a fool,
Why should I try if I’ll fail anyway?
Paralyzed by my brain and its sick, twisted ways.


 My friends are my everything and with them, I am blessed,
but then I remember that vest does not cover my head. 
A bullet goes stray and aims for my eye,
I am alone in the end and that is how I’ll die.


The bulletproof vest breaks and friends turn away, 
Leaving me defenceless on the shooting gallery bay. 
I can do nothing but stand here while life shoots my way.


Shots fired
Pierced me from behind
Backstabbing curse
Carved upon my flesh
Beloved became enemies
Ripping down my skin
Till naked bones remain.


My shields go up, the walls of stone 
Can't protect my broken bones.
Insults hurt when you're alone.


As the bullets fly through me,
and also through my armour,
you say, "I just wanted her free,
but all I did was harm her."


You can't put a bandaid,
on wounds of bullets,
but your bulletproof vest too,
seems to be riddled with holes.


I had tried to be your elysium
But all I bring is agony
As long as I‘m alive you‘ll stay broken,
Tales of love left unspoken.
You did well to kill me
While in the open.


There I see you in the distance
The waft of frabjous roses and love
At first thinking you were happy
Whilst your phone conversation
Until I listened more to realise
You were leaving voice mail on my number
As you arrived to my grave,
put down the phone and began crying
Redamancy doesn't fade away.


I curse the way I felt but accept that I feel no more.
I wish I had known that you loved me before.
But you flew away like a raven when I implored.
My living, breathing body was once alive, but nevermore.


The author's comments:

This collaboration has participants from Commaful, Write The World, and Wattpad. All of the writers I got to work with are extremely talented, and I suggest you refer to the credits that I will post in the comments and check out the other work that these writers have created!
Credits (in order of appearance of stanza):
Bruvton
badlands17 (Commaful)
bill_lad (Wattpad)
Quille (Write The World)
goldenratio0618 (Commaful)
Christy Wisdom (Write The World)
weeklybrent (Commaful)
soothrain (Commaful)
goldenratio0618 (Commaful)
chhr2103 (Commaful)
Bruvton


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