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Loss

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My breath comes short and rapid.
The air cuts my throat.
My body retches and shakes.
I shiver.
Cold, wet, tears stream down my face.
My gray eyes are rimmed with red.
My lips mouth “No,” but the sound is lost.
My heart is gone,
Shattered into millions of pieces.
I watch the world forget.
I am left to remember.
The pain never weakens, but
I have grown strong enough to bear it.




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mr.fingers said...
Jun. 25, 2010 at 5:39 pm:
Poetry is like a blues solo on the guitar. It can be realitivly easy to start and once you have the tempo and key down it is very easy to work your way through the solo, but if you have a bad ending that doesn't leaves the listener hanging that's what they'll remember. Your poems flow perfectly right up til the end. Just like the other one, you end it in an akward way... "The pain never weakens, but i have grown strong enough to bear it". Why did you say "but"? You weren't contradicting anything... (more »)
 
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sparkofheart said...
May 30, 2010 at 6:36 pm:
wow great job i love the simplicity of the lines but the words have so much meaning piled into them it really makes it a great poem!
 
wondering replied...
May 30, 2010 at 6:53 pm :
thanks a lot=]
 
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awesomeaugust This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 18, 2009 at 10:02 pm:
thanks so much for your comment on my fictions tory, The Most Unlikely of Friends. I finally got a chance to look at some fo your work and I really like this poem. Keep up the goodowork!
 
wondering replied...
May 30, 2010 at 6:54 pm :
thanks also=]
 
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