Please understand

April 16, 2009
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Please Understand
Hatred for myself
Pain I am enduring – I put myself through
Images I cannot stand
They’re skewed
Every bone should be visible
I count to make sure they’re there

…Please understand

Morning routine, I waste no time eating
Walking through the cluster of people wrapped in barbed wire
Cutting me if I dare to get close. To close…
Compliments returned to me
Soon leave me as an insult
Affliction enclosing me
Starvation gives me strength
Run until I pass out
Purge until nothing is left
I want to waste away


…Please understand


I am not sick.
I see them strutting down the runway, beautiful nothingness
I want to see through their eyes
My thinsperation
A walking proof of what I’m starving to be
What I desire
I do not have a disease


…Please understand

I want people to look at me and tell me
I’m skinny.
I want to feel
I feel I can finally
Take control
I can be happy

…Please understand

Life can be cruel, I am aware
My thoughts are not contorted by drugs or alcohol or anything alike
There is no need for curing
I am simply diving into my way of survival, happiness


…Please understand

Friends can accept me, those who are alike
And they are all I need.





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This article has 1 comment. Post your own now!

Priscilla W. said...
May 4, 2009 at 5:17 am
wow, this was really deep and emotional. well written too. I especially like the third stanza.
I've actually got a friend who's in a similar situation as the speaker here and so reading this has allowed me to understand it a bit better.
well, whatever your situation may be, I wish you the best! =]
-priscilla
 
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