A letter to love

April 15, 2009
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You told me you need me
That was such a lie
I gave you the best that I could
You swear to be true
Don't make me laugh
You're to greedy just to be with one man
Just give me some space
That's the least you can do
Give me some time to think things through
You swore that you love me
Now is that the truth?
I need to see some proof
Will you even miss me?
I don't think you care
You just like all the things I give you my dear
I think it's time for me to leave
Our show must not go on
Farwell love

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This article has 11 comments. Post your own now!

dancestar said...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 7:10 pm
that was great!! i hope u do become a songwriter...i think there is so much potential for u...u have such a great heart...i didn't kno guyz cld be this expressive...great job!!!
EdytD said...
Aug. 25, 2009 at 12:58 am
Well, my piece took a lot longer than two weeks.. but it's finally on! take a look (it was written for my teacher, so it's not a poem, but i'd love if you looked at/commented on it! thanks!)
Rachel N. said...
Jul. 27, 2009 at 1:59 am
i would definately say this is a very realistic piece.
the ending stopped alittle too suddenly, but from reading comments i can tell this is a work in progress. itll be an amzing song someday though, i already have a rhythm for it just by reading...
Elana F. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 1, 2009 at 2:14 am
u shud def be a songwriter when u grow up. im also writing a song but as good. luk at my work- Still Holdng
cryinsumtears said...
May 21, 2009 at 2:29 pm
yes i do agree!!!! :D
Jessie4736 said...
May 18, 2009 at 11:46 pm
craz ygood :] i like ur such a sweet heart to hurt
cryinsumtears said...
May 18, 2009 at 12:03 am
Thankz for my comment!! Ya I love this poem! I hope you can be a professional song writer wen u get older! Good luck w/ the future!!!!
Meghan said...
May 17, 2009 at 1:11 am
Great song. You have real talent.
EdytD said...
May 15, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Hey! I'd love to somehow hear you sing your music... I'm sure it would sound amazing!
If I were you, I would add some more about what she did that you are writing about - and when you do, add concrete imagery and not so much of the narrator's feelings - if you describe the scene clearly, the reader will feel that he/she is actually in the scene, and will be able to relate. Show, don't tell.

Great! I posted something new also, and i'm just waiting for it to go on... (more »)
Mikal said...
May 15, 2009 at 6:50 am
Can someome please comment on his in progress song!
Mikal said...
May 6, 2009 at 2:53 am
This is a great song in progress. Don't u agree?
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