To Forget...To Be Happy...

Why do I feel like crying?
Like pouring my soul out onto this little piece of paper?
Sometimes I dont feel like staying here anymore
Sometimes I just want to end it all
Fall peacefully down into
Cold raging waters
Let the icy liquid cover me like a blanket
Let it wash away everything I hate
And everything I love
To let me be empty and
Peacefull
Death doesnt seem so bad right now
Everyday I seem to be getting closer and closer
To that thought that could change my world
And every time I argue that it isn't the only way out...
Turn back...Put on a smile no matter how fake...grin and bear all the
Stress and just pretend everything is alright...you can do it...
You've done it before, you can do it again...
Push through this...
But Sometimes I feel like the
Cage is getting smaller, closing around me, I feel the claustrophobia creeping up around
I can feel myself coming undone at the seems...
I can feel myself breaking down...
Maybe Death isn't so bad afterall...
BAM!...It could be so easy...But I know it's too hard....
One look at my family andI know I just Can't...
So I will suffer in silence...
Why Am I telling a group of people...
Why Am I spilling my deepest thoughts to a group of people I dont know...?
Why...
I came here to try and forget,
To wipe my slate clean,
I came here to be happy
To lose myself in the words...
To forget...
To be happy...
Guess someone out there hates me because this is making it worse,
This is making me see everything wrong about life...
About me...
I dont mean to be like this...
It's out of my control
I know it is...
How can I help how I feel?
I can't simply put it in a box and
Forget about it...
Believe me when I say I've tried
It only comes out later and hits you harder than the last time...
I came here
To forget...
To Be happy...
But now I realize it will never work
I will always just feel worse than before...
Because...
These words are forcing me to see what I never wanted to believe...





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