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So Alone

So alone
When you are alone
Not alone with someone
Just alone by yourself
So alone
Your senses fuse
You can feel
The darkness
Hear the silence ringing in your ears
Feel the smells
Of old coconut room spray
The bookshelves surround you
A bitter reminder of all you still
Have not read
All you can think of as the
Clock grows more and more lively
Is that every second you live
Is a second closer to the day
you die
You live alone
You die
Alone
So alone
Not alone in a room of strangers
Of people you don’t know
That’s not alone
When you are alone
So alone
Asleep
but always
awake
reaching for a pen to scrawl
down a word
any word of the conversations
and battles within your mind
you long for what, for whom?
So alone not an oddball in a popular clique alone
Just you, yourself alone
You never sleep just lay there alone
Write, read, write, try not to think
Not to think
Not to remember anything
Until you try to remember it all
I go insane and enjoy every second
Of the time I spend
Alone
Not in a self-dejected social gathering
Just me
Feeling
so alone





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