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Over the Bridge
April 19, 2009
Over the bridge, beyond the graceful waterfall, there lies a magical place. A place that I call home. I live in a cottage, in a meadow.
That is my home. Within the meadow there lies one and only one rose. One elegant rose. That no one can ever know.
Only I and I alone know its terrible secret. Its terrible secret about the daisies beyond the river. For this is the reason why there is only one rose.
The poor, poor rose within the meadow that lies by itself all alone. Even though it deals with the disgusting daisies beside the river, the rose is still to blame.
For it had done something terrible everywhere it grew. If you ever see this rose don’t set your face to grim for it is only him.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 13 comments.
hunter said...
on May. 5 2009 at 1:14 am
Great job Jade keep up the great work
winniepooh said...
on May. 4 2009 at 11:47 pm
Jade, your aunt recommended that I read your poem. I am glad she did! I enjoyed reading it. Keep coming up with creative writings. winniepooh in Georgia!
Kim said...
on May. 3 2009 at 3:10 am
Keep up the writing...You have a great imagination!
Grandpa said...
on Apr. 29 2009 at 11:09 pm
very good very creative lots of meaning
editor_fan said...
on Apr. 29 2009 at 6:01 am
Nice imagery and exploiting of the rhythm and sounds of the words. I didn't understand the last line: "Don’t set your face to grim for it is only him", though I liked the sound of it. That's where you might focus on a couple alternatives to see if they convey your intended meaning more immediately. Since you're trying to get major impact out of few words, I'd recommend removing the two instances of "there are". Just say "..., beyond the graceful waterfall, lies a magical place". This approach may not always be the effect you're after, but it's often more effective. Keep up the nice work.
Grandma said...
on Apr. 29 2009 at 3:56 am
I like your poem very much. I am very proud of you. Grandma
Veronica of Georgetown said...
on Apr. 28 2009 at 10:04 pm
Great stuff! I'll need an autograph before you become rich and famous!
Rete said...
on Apr. 28 2009 at 7:59 pm
Way to go! Great imagery
pansie_71 said...
on Apr. 28 2009 at 6:30 pm
good job!
AuntMindy said...
on Apr. 28 2009 at 4:25 pm
Good job Jade! Congratulations!
MiMi said...
on Apr. 28 2009 at 3:44 pm
I thought it was well written and showed a tremedous amount of creativity. I truly enjoyed it.
brount said...
on Apr. 28 2009 at 3:13 pm
Good job Jade - Keep it writting!!!
31 articles 0 photos 59 comments
Favorite Quote:
Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels.
The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes -
the ones who see things differently.
They're not fond of rules and they have no respect for the status quo.
They push the human race forward.