What keeps my heart beating

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So at 2am I’m still wide awake
You’re skipping through my mind
I can’t get over the rush you made me feel
When it felt like you were mine

I look back and don’t regret a thing
But I wish we lasted longer
I know you’re confused
But I promise getting through it, will make you stronger

It’ll take everything in me once again
Not to send you words tonight
About how I’m feeling, how much I miss you
If you’re getting by alright

Two days have passed
And its driving me insane
I just want to take away all your struggle
Every ounce of your pain

Maybe love isn’t the right word
But I know I care about you like no other
I wish you understood
Inside this world of all this clutter

We glance at the paths ahead
Not knowing which course is ours
We stare at the past
Wondering why we are who we are

Baby I’m not asking for forever
Just the best friend back I once knew
The real kid dwelling inside
The mess of confusion I went through

Maybe you’re right
Maybe we’re not meant to be
But I know it’ll take everything to convince myself
You’re not the one for me

I’ll paint the world around me
The colors of your eyes
I’ll stare above at the stars
My dreams lost in the sky

I cared about you
From the second we first met
I knew you’d be more than everybody knew
Inside your own regret

Time after time in the future
I’ll bet I’ll say I’m over you
But I’ll let you in on a little secret
Baby, I’ll always love you

Whether the future carries us
Or separates us ahead
I’ll always be ready
To be your rock, love, your friend

Baby I know confusion well
You can’t fool this mask of mine
That I’ve peeled back for you
Again time after time

Leave me jaded all you want
But it’s just so beautiful to me
Every change you leave me with
Leaves me one step closer, to how I’m supposed to be

Little too late this time
Catch you the next round
Love, fall, break, carry on
Pick yourself up off that ground

The clock just keeps ticking
Too fast for the rest of us
We know taking one step at a time
Will be harder with every adjust

I’ll wish for you tonight
Like I have for the past couple of years
I’ll banish the pain, the tears, the struggle
Of all my lingering fears

I won’t say goodbye tonight
I’ll hang around once more
Until I know how to let go
Of everything I’ve ever wished for

Ryan, I’ll have you know
That you’ve changed me for the best
Wherever life takes you
I’ll think about you at rest

I’ll remember how sweet your voice sound
So secret in the night
How every touch you touched me
Made everything feel right

Your hugs so fragile and Your eyes so cloudy
Your heart that beat like kryptonite
Years from now, I’ll remember
What we shared all those nights

So we’ll both go our own direction
Or maybe we’ll give this a go
The future is our stage
Set and ready for our show

I’m not going anywhere
Maybe I’m forever marked
I just can’t seem to forget
The space between us that spark

I’ll remember your grip so cold
And the way you brushed hair out of my face
I’ll remember you as the boy I fell in love with
Instead of the one that loved the thrill of the chase

I’ll remember the kid
Who gazed in the shadows black
I’ll remember the curl and collapse of your lips
And the arch of every vertebrae in your back

How you towered over me
And could handle any delicate situation
Inside my heart dances forever
The most beautiful and melodic vibrations

So goodbye is just a word
That will fill space between our meaning
Just know even when you’re gone
You’re what keeps this heart beating





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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

Susan7/8 said...
May 3, 2009 at 11:17 pm
This is beautiful Katey. Keep writing from your heart. You are beautiful inside and out!
 
cheyenne said...
Apr. 28, 2009 at 8:17 pm
its real cute i like it!!!
 
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