Failing Life

I failed.
In more ways than one,
yet only in the most important of senses.

I begged the crowd for the answer,
and the word returned its answer with malicious clarity.
Changing absolutes to dust, the truth left me broken.

I failed.
From the moment that my feet left your paths,
I knew nothing would ever be the same.
Simple thoughts overwhelmed my mind,
and made way for a dire precedence.
As hopelessness overpowers reason,
I know that my world is left to choice.

I failed.
Desperately I pleaded with you, giving you a second chance.
You only thought that I sought attention.
You were unwilling to oblige, I was a distraction.
I wonder if you will see me now, see your mistakes.
Even those closest to my heart cannot seem to part the veil.
My soul is bleeding out and the signs are ever so clear.

I failed.
I can’t sleep while living a nightmare,
I just want to wake up.
I’ve had enough of the real world.
My only desire lies in serenity.
One swift motion that was so simple,
and two crimson rivers flood the floor.

I failed.
I woke up to a helpless family’s tears,
I lacked the conviction to ensure even this final act.
Why do you cry so?
When I last revealed the surety of my depression
you all dismissed it as teenage angst.
As you reach out to hold me your eyes mirror my own.
Together they scream in the chasm, ”I failed.”

A moment to take,
To find if a life is at stake.
When suspecting a friend in need.
Give freely your time, fall not too selfish greed.
Defy what suicidal tendencies have entailed.
Do not find yourself to have had a friend, whom you have failed.





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