Big World

April 7, 2009
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Oh, big world, why come down on me so?
My shoulders are cracked, and my lips are dry
Yet your rivers abandon me for the sky

Oh, big world, why hurt me so?
My song is silenced, my knees are trembling
But you don’t feel them, you’re too busy spinning

Oh, big world, you’re crushing my wings
The feathers are balding, the hollow bones breaking
Big world, big world, how I long to stand tall
But you’ll roll off my back and shatter
I hold you up with my last reserves of strength
And as a reward I taste my own stale sweat

This big world creases my skin
Suffocates my pores
I’m caving in
This big world bows my legs
Twists my tendons
I’m swaying dangerously

And as I teeter with a more daring angle each time
I picture myself a pendulum cutting the sky
The sky where the rivers and the birds shriek “Freedom!”
The sky where God doesn’t intend for me to be
My blade cuts a new slice in the blue
Where more of the universe is able to seep through
And though I try my best to stand strong and still
The sky is leaking, and it’s ready to spill

I teeter on this ground of air
And every time I falter it sinks ever lower
An elevator crawling to the basement of hell
Impartial to where we’re going, where we’ve been
But loving every minute that it does me in
The oceans are deadly still
And the winds are hushed with a secret they can’t tell
The stars quit their winking
And the moon doesn’t smile
The sun, well, he’s been away for awhile

Oh, big world, you’re a stranger to me
We used to laugh and bump shoulders
And now we grit our teeth and shake hands

Big world, you and I were once friends
I danced in your sunflowers
And basked in your beauty
I played the grass’s melody
And splashed in your puddles
I tasted your rain and your skin
I felt your pain, drank your passion
My pulse was one with the waterfall
And my breath sighed with the wind

And while I had my face turned willingly to your light
You crept up behind me
And now I’m weighed down
Your vines twisted in chains, your clouds’ spirits cried
And the sun fizzled out with nothing more than a pop

I still believe in you, big world
Despite your sorrow and filth
I still fight for you, big world
Despite your selfishness and greed
I still cry for you, big world
Even though you answer with sneers
I still love you, big world
And I shall carry you still.





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