sweet song of home

April 7, 2009
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sitting, reading, staring at the fire
clicking, clacking, typing up homework
tinging, slurping, drinking water with ice
murmuring, laughing, dessert with ratatatcat
the silent sound of milk being poured for a special animal friend
scraping, sliding, getting up from the table
swishing, slapping, pounding, the stairs lead us to bed
hushing, gushing, giggling, laughing, roaring, it dies down with a single command:
shhhhh, and let the sweet song of home sing you to sleep

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Joanna said...
Sept. 25, 2009 at 3:24 pm
I like the concept of this poem, but I think you need to rearrange some lines to create some more flow in the poem. In the beginning you have this pattern where the lines get longer, and longer, but that's abandoned when you pour milk for your cat. This poem could be amazing with a little more work. It's a really good start though.
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