I Run from Running: A "Soggy" Parody

December 17, 2017
By Anonymous

I have been running for about six years. Every year I have been asked the same question at least once: “How do you like it?” Truthfully, I would not say I particularly like to run. On the other hand, I run every day. When it comes down to my true feelings on why I run, I always reply with the phrase “it is a love/hate relationship.” My controversy on the subject is as follows:


If you ask me do I like running after I finish a run, I will tell you running is the soul-wrenching, difficult, painful, dreadfully boring, annoyingly simple, disgustingly sweaty, degrading, shameful and the hardest activity I have ever done; if you want to know more about  the activity, it causes injuries, headaches, burning muscles, and sleep-deprivation; if you want to know about runners, they have no social life during cross-country, have to keep up healthy diets, consume large quantities of water, monitor what they do throughout the day, upchuck their food during a run, and never usually time to find a bathroom during a run, then I hate running.

But, if you ask me do I like running on my off day or when I am not running, I will respond more positively due to the freeing, calming, satisfying, challenging, accomplishing, and mentally challenging feeling; if you want to know a run can cause a runner’s high, people to push to their limits, people to be in best shape they will be in, people to have an adrenaline rush, and be proud of themselves; if you mean the sport that causes people to dedicate their lives to something, to always have a stress reliever, to have the running community, and to bond with other runners in ways that cannot bond with others, then I love to run.


This is my stand. I will not retreat from it. I will not compromise.

The author's comments:

I was inspired by the speech written by Judge Noah "Soggy" Sweat to write this small article about my conflicting feelings for running.

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