Perfect (Dear Golf)

June 14, 2012
By KatsK DIAMOND, Saint Paul, Minnesota
KatsK DIAMOND, Saint Paul, Minnesota
57 articles 0 photos 303 comments

Favorite Quote:
Being inexhaustible, life and nature are a constant stimulus for a creative mind.
~Hans Hofmann
You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
~Ray Bradbury


Dear Golf,

I’m not sure if you knew this, but you and I have kind of a strained relationship. I totally thought that I liked you, and you liked me, but I guess yesterday you proved me wrong. I've heard rumors that love-hate relationships aren't very good to have, so I guess that means that maybe we should break up sometime. I mean, I thought that we were so close, and then you went and turned on me. Really? Changing your course’s orientation? I had almost understood you before, and then you went and started being close to that other girl, Yani Tseng. Thanks, but I prefer my relationships monogamous. I thought you cared about me, but I guess not. Also, maybe you haven’t realized this either, but you flaunt the rules, that you want me to abide to in order to be with you, a lot, and that really bugs me. Plus, the clothes that I’m supposed to wear when I’m hanging out with you are impossible! Haven’t you heard? Nobody (I repeat, nobody) sells knee-length shorts anymore! My father once said that I don’t have to be perfect to excel with you, but I disagree. You keep turning on me, adding twists and complications, and I’m sick of it. I guess another obstacle in my relationship with you is my family. My mom dislikes you, my sister hates you sometimes, and my brother doesn’t care about you, at all. At least my father likes you. So, Golf, I’ll remember all those good times we had together, and remember them fondly, but I have to break up with you. However, I’m sure you’ll find someone better, someone who happily wears knee-length shorts.
Sincerely,
Katia, the anti-golfing girl


The author's comments:
I have a hard time with golf, and ever since we joined a country club, I've struggled, and had a somewhat-like/hate relationship with the sport, so I finally penned this out of frustration.

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