The thumping of my heartbeat, growling of my stomach and cold sweats have been a constant reminder of the night to come. One of the biggest nights for Arrowhead High School, Hawksfest. One of the largest fall festivals in the area with a jam packed football game after. Thousands of people come out to eat, play games and attend the game, oh and we have a volleyball tournament. This wouldn’t be a big deal if it was the only special highschool event we were missing, but it’s not. With homecoming less than 2 weeks away our coach also scheduled a tournament on that exact day, until about 5pm. 

I was already in a bad mood before writing this as I realized I have no dinner packed and I have to stay at school to set up all the nets before we play. The combination of sleep deprivation, no food and missing out on a fun experience with friends isn’t really selling it to me. However I did choose to play and I can’t just skip whenever I want to, so it’s going to have to be sport over fun for today.

So here I am now, in English class, thinking, Why do I do this to myself?. 

I chose to play volleyball. And I want to play volleyball. It can be a love-hate relationship though as I miss dances and festivals for tournaments, school for traveling, and my friends birthday parties for games. However, just because I am hungry and tired today doesn’t mean I will quit. I’d rather use writing as therapy and get tonight over with.