Dear God,

We’ve been through a lot together, you and I. You’ve helped me break through the barrier of my fears - my overall stress of everything, my fear of raising my hands in church or of wearing shirts bearing your name to school - and performed wonders in my life. You’ve put in me a sense of security and forgiven me no matter what I do wrong. And you’ve helped me remember that no matter how bad things seem, I always have something better waiting for me after I die.

But you know way better than I that we’ve also been through some very rough times. You were there when I strayed from your path, your perfect but not boring plan for my life. I didn’t know you were there always. I thought you had stopped caring. But no, you were there.

You were totally there when I accepted you and made you the first priority in my life. You were so there, I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything without feeling your presence and your spirit in me - and it was awesome! But after that, I felt like you were gone. And I made some very bad choices.

When I felt like I hated myself and everybody hated me too, I hurt myself. You didn’t like it, but I was so selfish that I didn’t care. I had so much jealousy and hatred in my life that I felt I had to let it out on my body, which is also your temple. I’m really sorry.

I feel like I should also thank you though. You have given me so much! First life, then a great family. Plenty of success and talents. And the guidance! I never have to wonder anymore. You answer my prayers and help me grow into the woman I want to be, and the one you want me to be. You are better than any best friend, any boyfriend, anybody, period. And I can’t even understand how great you are.

I guess the best I can do is keep learning. Thank you for sending your son to die for how badly I screwed up. I’m looking forward to a life that’s centered around you.

Love,

Me.