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How I found Wicca

I found Wicca when I was in the sixth grade. Ever since I was little I liked to watch anything that had witches or magic in it. I thought it was the most amazing thing in the world. I also read anything I could get on the subject with witchcraft and magic. I had a false sense of what Wicca was and I didn’t even know it was a actual religion until I read The Circle of Three series by Isobel Bird it amazed and shocked me that Wicca could be real. So sadly to say I started to search for spells on the internet. I thought spells could make me beautiful. I thought I could cast a spell like on Charmed or Sabrina the Teenage Witch and get what I wanted almost instantly. Good looks, better grades, someone to date, and to punish my enemies. I bet your shaking your head after reading that. Well I’m ashamed for even thinking that. I also was listening to what my family said at the time and they told me that Witchcraft was evil and those people worshipped the devil. So I listened to them and I continued to look up spells. My parents eventually found out what I was doing and told me I was praying to the Devil. The only reason I was Christian was throughout my life I was thought that if you weren’t Christian than you would forever be tormented in Hell with the Devil. So I was hesitant about looking up spells but I thought spells could make me a better person and I could make it up to Jesus later for praying to the Devil for just a little help. I wasn’t selling my soul to the devil I thought. So I checked out books about Wicca and every time my parents would catch me I told them I understood and would stop checking them out. For some reason even though I thought Wicca was evil at the time I couldn’t stop thinking about it and wanting to learn more. After a while I started to doubt my faith in Jesus and the Bible the more I listened to people talk about Christianity the more it felt wrong to me. I didn’t believe that people who weren’t Christian would automatically go to Hell. It just didn’t make sense to me. Also in sixth grade I started to doubt my sexuality. That scared me I thought I would go to Hell for sure. I hated myself for wanting to more about Wicca and I hated myself even more for doubting the religion my parents thought me. I just wanted to go to Heaven but in the back of my mind I still doubted the existence of a Hell let alone a Heaven. I felt that soon or later Jesus was going to punish me for my so called sins. I dint really have anyone to talk to about this. I felt dirty and sinful so I told no one. I checked out various books about Wicca from books about Herbs to books by Silver Raven wolf. I checked them out but rarely ever read them. I was just to scared to. I thought by doing so I was opening myself to the devil. This wasn’t just spells anymore it was the religion to hell. I read bits and pieces from the book but everything I read was proof of Wicca’s evil ways. It wasn’t until 8th grade that I read as much basic information about Wicca that I can from different websites I learned about the Wiccan Rede, The Lord and Lady, the Wiccan wheel of the year, The Threefold Law, and that’s the year I found Witchvox. I read so many essays from Teens that it made me feel like I wasn’t alone. Once I learned the basics of Wicca it felt right to me. I felt at peace. I realized that Wicca wasn’t evil and that it was meant for me to learn more about it. My parents wouldn’t allow that to happen. They told me that I had to go to Church that I was wrong and evil. My older sister even told me that I was going to go to Hell. I told them about Wicca and I told them what it wasn’t I tried telling her that in Wicca the didn’t believe in the Devil and that once you died that you would go to Summerland. Obviously they didn’t want to listen to me, they banned me from the computer and took away The circle of Three Series I checked out from the library. So I gave up Wicca again for a year. Yet during that year I kept thinking constantly about Wicca. I felt lost without it. Eventually I stopped thinking so much about it and I stopped trying to bring it up to my parents. After a while a person gets tired hearing that I was going to Hell and that I was evil and sinful and rebellious. I was tired of hearing that added to the problem that I came out as a Lesbian to them and was refusing to date males. I thought that I had it figured out but I was still so confused I wanted someone to help me learn more. I than decided to join social networks and chat groups for Wiccans. By doing this it made me feel less alone. Than in my ninth grade year my parents decided it would be a good idea to move from Chicago to Texarkana,AR. My older sister Brittany had graduated high school and was in college. So me and my siblings moved to the Bible Belt. Churches was everywhere and I was forced to attend the church and I hated every minute I was there. It seemed like the preacher was pointing out everyone’s flaw and what would be a sure way to Hell. I didn’t like the messages I heard. As I went though High School I tried to fit in by hiding my interest and being or trying to make my parents happy. There was a turning point in my life which I wont talk about in this essay but it made me realized that I wanted to follow the Wiccan path. Now I’ m a Senior in High school and I am trying to graduate. My parents’ and family still don’t accept my faith and wont let me practice it so I have to practice in secret. My parents said I can read about Wicca but not practice it but I will do both. I know Wicca is right form me. I have started a Book of Shadows and I am also going to buy a pentacle necklace on Tuesday. I am proud of being a Wiccan in training and I try to be polite and answer any questions people have when they ask me about my Faith. I will continue to try and learn more about my craft. Well I also would want to figure out my sexuality as well. I consider myself a Gothic Witch but I wont write to much about this, that will be for another essay. I hope this all makes sense of how I found Wicca.

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This article has 68 comments. Post your own!

CoNfUsEdInSaNiTy said...
Mar. 22, 2010 at 9:12 am:
Wicca isn't evil to those who use it properly, we do not worship the devil, or the god of hate like you said, its like there are jesus loving wiccans, I just choose to worship another god. wicca is for the most part, white magick. research about it a bit before you judge. it's not evil.
bookthief This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 29, 2012 at 4:16 pm :
But define witchcraft. If you count it as any form of miracle or magic, the Judeo-Christian god supports miracles and magic from Abraham, Moses, Miriam... the list goes on and on. I would definitely define those as in-tune-with-nature, white witchcraft.
HisPurePrincess This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 1, 2012 at 11:01 am :
No, Abraham did not use magic. Every miracle on the bible comes from God. If you're calling God's power magic, that just using a wrong term, but if you're saying that people used magic to do things like part the red sea or create manna or develop a baby in a very old woman, that is incorrect. I'm sorry if I sound pompous, I just get a little agitated when people screw up things in the bible to fit their own beliefs. Thanks.
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1Corinthians13:4_8 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 9, 2010 at 10:24 pm:
The Christian faith isn't about going to heaven or hell . Im totally on your parents side. I don't get why you seriously would want to do something so terrible when all God is is a God of love and forgivness. I would rather worship a God of love then a god of hate.
triciaargh replied...
Mar. 18, 2010 at 11:15 pm :
But they aren't gods of hate, they are gods of love. Besides, the Judeo- Christian god isn't the best example of love or tolerance.
CoNfUsEdInSaNiTy replied...
Mar. 22, 2010 at 9:14 am :
Wicca isn't about hate, or wevil, itas for the most part, white magick. we don't worship the devil, if you read more about us, like some hard facts, you would know that, we have different gods, and that we focus on white magick, not black magick.
1Corinthians13:4_8 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 22, 2010 at 7:16 pm :
i'm sorry but i still do not agreeat all with magic. Even if it is not all about evil acording to the bible magic its self is an evil thing even if you don't worchip the devul . Why does magic seem like q good thing to you? i just don't get it ... why someone would want to be a whitch or whatever you call yourself
SilverSnowflakes replied...
Mar. 28, 2010 at 6:29 pm :
I don't believe in magic but I believe anything is possible because of God, who answers my prayers all the time. From things like when I was seven and I realized that if I made a birthday wish for a sister nothing would happen so instead I prayed for a sister and nine month later I got a sister, to things like the other day when my mom and I couldn't find her keys so I prayed and then I walked back into a room and they were sitting right there in plain sight on her desk right where we both had b... (more »)
Jkrissy95 replied...
Apr. 4, 2010 at 9:41 pm :

how is God not an example of love and tolerane? ur living. the world is living. he tolerates all the crap going on. nd  he loves us enough to care about us, to give us a message of love through jesus, he loves u enuf to let u live wen he cd end it at any point. our God is a God of love. research nd noe wut ur talkng about b4 u judje

2ndly, humans have freewill. we can do wutever we choose. if you choose to believe in this then do so. i cant stop u, nd telling u off isnt gunna help... (more »)

CoNfUsEdInSaNiTy replied...
Apr. 13, 2010 at 2:56 pm :
it doesn't matter. you believe what you believe, i believe what i believe... and thats that really....
1Corinthians13:4_8 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 14, 2010 at 1:03 pm :
but it doesn't matter. think about life after death. liuving a life for god changes your life . i don't want anyone to go to hell. God created you and you are so precious to him. John3:16 for god so loved the world that he gave his only son so that whoever believes iin him shall not perish but have eternal life.that's great news. that shows god truly cares for us. THe world is filled with so much sin but still god cares for us. A lot of poeple would die for a great man but Jesus m... (more »)
AngelGal07 replied...
May 12, 2010 at 5:17 pm :
i agree with you 1corinthians!
1Corinthians13:4_8 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 12, 2010 at 6:31 pm :

thanks ! its nice to someone agrees with me


CoNfUsEdInSaNiTy replied...
May 14, 2010 at 10:43 am :
I'm sorry but i believe what i believe. and what you believe is what you believe. so deal with it. you can't "save" us if we don't want to be saved.
Anna replied...
Jul. 6, 2010 at 12:52 pm :

You are all arguing for nothing really. Everyone is entiteld to their own opinions, and that is a right we all should use.

You are all speaking of your god and your gods, just a lot of your. Have any of you ever stopped to think that this may be all the same? That the Christian God and the Wiccan God and Goddess is the same? Look at it from a discoball perspective. A discoball has many faces, many sides, and we all se the discoball differently depending on which side we're on. But it i... (more »)

mandapanda91 replied...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 7:45 am :

My Gods are evil? Wow, Im sorry? I wasn't aware my gods are pro violence as long as they benefit. Seriously, Goddess, you should have told me>.>

*eye roll* people are so ignorant.

J. Rae replied...
Aug. 14, 2010 at 12:22 pm :
Omg! Anna, I am so happy that some one agrees with me! The disco ball metaphore was perfect!
Wordgasm replied...
Jan. 3, 2011 at 7:30 am :
Omfg, thank you Anna!! This is exactly how I explain it to other people, and was just about to get in on this convo when i read your comment. I just recently wrote a blog post about this. It's a tough concept for people to grasp for some reason.
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[cOoKiE_mOnStEr] said...
Mar. 4, 2010 at 10:21 am:
I am so sorry. I feel the same way. I have to hide my herbs and candles from my family. They think I quit wicca. I could never. I sit in my room and practice when no one's home. Its hard to explain it to my family. I live with my older sister, and she practices it too. but before i moved in with her my parents went crazy when they found out. But its what I believe. They can't tell me to stop anymore. I'm a Freshman in Highschool, and I believe in wicca. but I'm not open about... (more »)
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earthy_kat said...
Feb. 13, 2010 at 6:45 pm:
Twinky, I am very sorry for your situation.But I think that if you are serious about the Wiccan faith,then you should go for it.Your parents have no right to choose your religion for you!And if they try to pull you away,be rational about it and do not give up. That's what I would do.
JasmineHodges replied...
Feb. 13, 2010 at 7:50 pm :
I agree. I will try to help you if I can as well.
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