Parents are Preventing Our Success | Teen Ink

Parents are Preventing Our Success

March 26, 2018
By A.E.ZADEH SILVER, Tarzana, California
A.E.ZADEH SILVER, Tarzana, California
7 articles 1 photo 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't like me? Go have a seat with the rest of the brothers, waiting for me to care.

I am not usually bothered by the little things that occur in day to day life, but I have realized that in today's society, millennials feel antagonized very easily, and act like the world owes them something. It may be the environment that I'm in, that people are used to things being handed to them, or it’s that America in the 21st Century convinces people that they deserve more than what is being given to them.


Recently, my History teacher assigned partners for a project, and I was paired with someone I have known for a long time. When we received the extensive prompt and impending due date, I was surprised when I saw a nonchalant expression on my partner’s face. I asked him why he was not rushing to start the project, and his answer startled me.

“Ha, my mom will do it when I get home,” he said.
I was nothing less than confused. The main reason we attend school is to prepare for adulthood. In reality, when a mother cheats for her son, that defeats the very purpose of his being in school.

Gladly, I can say that this type of situation would not have occurred in my household. When I was younger I remember asking my mother if she could help me with an art project. Our fifth-grade class was learning about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and with my mother’s artistic talent, I was almost positive that I would get a star for “my work.” To my astonishment, my kind mother told me to complete the assignment on my own.

“I can draw and paint for you, but when I am not around, who will do it for you then?” she said.

Though some may not agree with my mother’s logic, this concept is familiar. It is the old story that if you give a hungry man a loaf of bread, he will be full for one night, but if you teach him how to make his own bread, he will never be hungry again.

Many adults today perpetuate the younger generation’s foolish actions. Parents cannot complain about their sons and daughters if those parents are completing their kids’ homework and cooking their meals. It is simply a fact that if you are raised as an independent person, with guidance and motivation from positive role models, you will mature more quickly and be a more successful human being.

In a study by Carol Dweck, a social and developmental psychologist at Stanford University, research indicates that when children are told they can accomplish something, they are more likely to accomplish that task with little doubt. On the contrary, children who are told they most probably cannot complete a task, often end up failing. This study directly correlates with my classmate’s homework situation. When a mother completes her son’s homework for him, she unintentionally makes him doubt his own ability, potentially setting him up for future failure.


Unfortunately, in many cultures, young people are frowned upon for their views and actions. I have the lucky advantage that my family has no such belief. My mother raised me with the mindset that no matter how old I was, I could accomplish anything. Children deserve not only to understand how life works but also to prepare to become adults.


The way children are raised by their parents or guardians defines the kinds of people they will become, the people they will marry, and the friends they will have. Of course, there are always exceptions, but studies tend to prove that it is early life that regulates eventual success. If youngsters are given meaningful responsibilities such as cooking their own food, buying their own clothes, and/or seeking part-time employment, with encouragement from individuals around them, then they will more likely be successful.

In the end, more parents have to look past the terrible stereotype that the young are dumb and helpless. Instead, adults should stop patronizing children for their immature behavior, and start teaching them that they will have responsibilities in their future.

As James Allen states in his book, As a Man Thinketh, “A man's mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth.”
Future generations will either act responsibly due to their sensible upbringing or act irresponsibly due to the negligence of those who raised them.

The author's comments:

Today, many young people's futures are destroyed by the adults around them.

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