The Social Media Galaxy

November 18, 2017
By Anonymous

In the last decade, scientists have discovered a new galaxy, one that is rapidly moving closer to us. It has partially taken over our planet, and in a few more years, it will have completely engrossed planet Earth. Who are these invaders? What have they done to us? Well, the answer to  “who?”  is “Social Media.” And, the answer to “what have they done?” is really “what have we done?” This new galaxy is made up of the planets “Instagram,” “Facebook,” “Snapchat,” “Twitter,” and several other smaller planets. With approximately 2 billion inhabitants, this galaxy’s population is rapidly growing. You will never have to worry about face-to-face interaction with people ever again, because Social Media will allow for LOL, or Living OnLine. Plus, you won’t have to worry about your appearance, because with the overuse of filters and your must-needed editing app, you can turn that frown upside-down, literally.

“Instagram: an online photo sharing service that lets you share your life with friends through photos taken with a mobile device.” In this definition, they forgot to include the fact that with the use of Instagram, you will never have to ask your friends “Hey! What did you do yesterday?” since they’ll post a picture of the mountains they hiked on, or the bagel they ate yesterday. And, on this planet, you don’t need to find out from a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend that your best friend didn’t invite you to her birthday party, since they’ll take a group selfie and post it. And, lastly, on Instagram, you don’t need to follow the politics of the Presidential debate; instead you can follow the politics of Instagram. That can be a career, right (well...maybe not)? How many followers do you have? How many likes did you get on that bagel? What is your ratio of likes to the amount of time it has been posted? As you can see, on this planet, you will never have to be worry-free again! Likewise, with Facebook, you never have to worry about searching your name up on Google and finding nothing about you, since everything is public. Even better, you can guarantee that college scouts will look through your Facebook profile and decide your acceptance based on that.

Let’s move our telescope to Snapchat. Take a selfie with your friend, send it to someone, and pick how many seconds you want them to see it for. On this planet, you will never need to worry about your friends not having bad pictures of you on their phone, since they will screenshot those selfies you sent them. Like its sister planet Instagram, if your friend doesn’t invite you to her party, you'll know, since everyone who attended will have a picture or video from it in their Snapchat story. You’ll never have to feel not left out again!

And, lastly, the social planet of Twitter, and its moon, Vine. Twitter is a place where you don’t have to feel awkward about stalking celebrities and you can write about every single thing that you do during your day, and people can pretend to care. It’s a place where your dreams can come true: your favorite YouTuber will follow you back. Isn’t that every girl’s goal in life? And, who even cares about college? You can get a perfectly good education reading the tweets of people you follow: you will gain patience.

As the Social Media galaxy grows to take over our world by reducing our face-to-face interactions, it will be interesting to see how life will find support on the new galaxy.

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