Forget Feminism, Marry Meninism | Teen Ink

Forget Feminism, Marry Meninism

March 28, 2017
By amykf BRONZE, Sacramento, California
amykf BRONZE, Sacramento, California
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

It is well known there have been struggles with equal rights between men and women for centuries. Though, throughout the years, women have been standing together to receive complete equal rights. We could say it started with their ability to vote. However, ladies and gentlemen, women have always had equal rights. It is the concept of feminism that is confusing the world today. Ask yourself what women want. It does not seem as if feminism answers that question in a straight-forward way. We need a way to fix it. The solution to the women’s rights problem is to convert to meninism and keep them in their (right) place.


The feminism movement is confusing. If their movement is confusing, people will not be able to follow what is happening, what they actually want. It would be easier if men told them what they wanted. Meninists know what they want. In an article “Different Types of Feminist Theories”, Cara Gillis writes, “Today, there are as many definitions of feminism as there are feminists. Each definition of feminism depends on a number of factors including one’s own beliefs, history and culture” (Gillis). This doesn’t make any sense. No one will know what feminism is, if there are different forms. People have no way of knowing which kind of feminism the women are talking about. Meninism has one goal; keep women in their place and give men back their say. In her article “What Does Feminism Include?”, Jone Johnson Lewis comments, “...feminism looks to a different culture as possible, and values moving towards that culture...” (Johnson Lewis). This is what meninists are talking about! Different cultures, different values, different ideas. Feminism is so erratic, they will not be able to help themselves. Meninists will take care of feminist’s hormonal and inconsistent ideas and create a rational way for them to live. Different cultures and values apparently do not involve men. So much for equal rights, girls.

 

Not only are they confusing, but they are confused. Feminists claim they want a safe, healthy, and independent work environment. However, what these women do not see is the safest, healthiest, most independent work environment is their own home. They can cook whatever they want. For example, a sandwich any time a man needs one. They have the freedom to make sandwiches however they want to. Women can use whatever cleaning supplies they need to make their house sparkling for their husbands. Men and women work hard every day, they both deserve a clean house. In "Relationship Social Norms Vs. Feminist Ideals“, by Erin McKelle, she releases that “reaching feminist ideals in your relationships will likely take a lot of work and definitely a lot of communication” (McKelle). That is tiring to even read. Working hard to communicate is a ridiculous idea. Just tell your husbands you would rather buy wheat bread instead of white. It is not that hard. As long as a sandwich is made and received, everyone is happy. Do not worry, Princess, you are equal. You do the laundry and your husbands will not make you sleep on the couch. That is called equality. Look it up.

 

Women do have rights, we promise. Though, for some odd reason, women are scared of men. They claim walking down the street is scary for them because they could be assaulted. That doesn’t make sense. There is a perfect way to prevent that. Sweatpants, slippers, stained jackets, and most importantly, no makeup. Just wear that and you are set. It is an obvious fact women try to look beautiful and follow everything a man says or does. Even well-known feminist Gloria Steinem states, “... men tend to get more conservative because they gain power as they age, women get more radical because they lose power as they age. And, when you’re young, you’re thinking, where are the boys? The boys are with Bernie...” in Elizabeth Bruenig’s article "Feminist Gloria Steinem Says Young Women Support Bernie Because They Want Attention from Boys”. Wowie zowie. What a blow, babe. One of your own is doing you dirty. However, do not forget, you are beautiful. Except without makeup. Wear makeup. But, not too much or men will have to take you swimming on the first date. Therefore, your hysterical horror towards men is unprecedented and frankly insulting. We are scared of women too. Imagine how men feel when women encourage us to take off our shirts all the time. We feel as if we are only loved if we have a perfect six-pack and chiseled jawline. Stop objectifying our bodies so we can objectify yours instead.


In addition, stop taking charge. You just embarrass yourselves. In the words of your own, “Women and feminine-presenting people are supposed to be the ones to be asked out, not the askers. They aren’t supposed to pay for a first date. They aren’t supposed to propose marriage” (McKelle). Stop asking your boyfriends to prom. Stop offering to help us fix the car. Yes, we get you want to “spend time with us”. But, we do that enough in the bedroom. Women cannot fix the garbage disposal or pay for dinner, they do not get paid as much as we do. Honestly, if you try, it makes men feel inferior. Imagine how horrible that feels. Author Amy Tennery agrees. She states, “We’d probably all be better off if we stopped levying an ironclad set of expectations on people just because they’re guys…”. She is so right. She is a woman and she is right. That is extremely rare. Women cannot take control of our lives. Men have been doing it for so long, women will not know how to. Of course, they know how to bare our children and go through the intense pain of childbirth. But taxes, changing light bulbs, running fantasy football teams, no way. The only thing women can handle is buying groceries and picking up the children from school and soccer. Stick to that, honey.


I am sure you see it now. I am sure you see exactly where you belong. Indeed, men also have a lot to change, like batteries in the TV remotes. But women need to stay where they are. Stay in the kitchen. Stay in your mini-van. Stay where you are. We do appreciate you, girls. We appreciate the sandwiches, the silence and snacks during the football games, the clean house, and the good lovin’. But, you deserve to be pampered too. You can even have a bite of our sandwiches once and awhile. And most importantly, stay beautiful. If you let go, we let you go. Remember, we will help make your lives better. Just, stay. Stay. Where. You. Are.

 

 

Work Cited
Bruenig, Elizabeth. "Feminist Gloria Steinem Says Young Women Support Bernie Because They
Want Attention from Boys." New Republic. N.p., 06 Feb. 2016. Web. 06 Feb. 2017.  
Gillis, Cara. "Different Types of Feminist Theories." N.p., n.d. Web. 06 Feb. 2017.      
Gwinn, Natalie. "Feminism Vs. Meninism." The Eagle Way, 22 Feb. 2016. Web. 03 Feb. 2017.      
Johnson Lewis, Jone. "What Does Feminism Include?" About. About Education, 27 July 2016.
Web. 03 Feb. 2017.
McKelle, Erin. "Relationship Social Norms Vs. Feminist Ideals." Everyday Feminism. N.p., 2
Dec. 2013. Web. 06 Feb. 2017.


The author's comments:

This piece is satircal and special to me because I put all of my feeling into my writing. I had so much passion on this subject. As a feminist, I feel personally attacked by the ignorant and offensive things that meninists say. I will not assume that all men are sexist, therefore, I try to keep the focus on meninism and feminism instead of men and women. I hope that no one is offended by my writing and understands that everything I write is satire. Thank you for taking the time to read my article.


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