Modest Proposal: A Satirical Solution for Distracted Driving

November 11, 2016
By Anonymous



It is a melancholy object to distracted driving. Distracted driving is a serious issue where people not paying attention at the wheel can get into an accident and possibly kill themselves or take someone else's life. Most distractions at the wheel are cell phone related, but other distractions include listening to music and eating (Miller, 53). These Distractions are what makes distracted driving the leading cause of car crashes in the U.S. (Delgado, 79).

I think it is agreed by all parties that the life-threatening occurrence of distracted driving is a very dangerous habit that needs to be stopped. Someone needs to find a solution to this problem and should also be rewarded for their efforts. This is verbal irony because this bad habit will not stop in the future.

But my intention is far from being confined to provide only for the betterment of the victims of this terrible thing. Not only will my solution save many lives but it may protect your car from any damage caused by distracted driving. It will also save you from paying for these damages or  paying for increased payments for your car insurance.

As to my part, I have studied the proposals of other projectors, and concluded that they are not nearly as efficient as they claim to be. Hand held cell phone usage has been banned while driving in 14 states. Use of all cell phones by novice has been banned in 31 states. And text messaging has been banned while driving in 46 states (Delgado, 79). “States have enacted these policies to help decrease cell phone usage while driving, [But do you really think there is enough officers out there to be able to watch the amount of people using their phone while driving?]”

I will now present my own idea, which I hope will not be subjected to disagreement.

I humbly offer it to public consideration that humankind as a cohesive and cooperative unit, should add cameras in every car that can detect cell phone usage, and should shut down the car immediately, even while the driver is in the middle of driving. Don't worry, cars will also include extra airbags.

In this scenario the federal government would have to pass a law stating that all new vehicles being made from big corporations would have to implant cameras into them.

Of course the federal government would then have to be able to create a database to be able to watch millions of people’s every move while in a vehicle. This will also solve the United States high unemployment rate by creating another job to the list of new jobs.

These drastic and sudden changes maybe difficult to implement into all these new cars because there are millions of new cars being created that we would need to add a camera in, but it shouldn't be that hard for a car company to add a small camera in the cab, they can just get rid of the rear one.

Again, no one should dare to suggest these notions to me until they have a small spark of hope that these actions may be implemented.

It is not that I do not respect the input of others on the subject of solutions to this topic, but simply that I've spent a week on my research on a topic that has killed countless people. This is the only solution to this problem because people would be scared to use their phone if they know they are being watched.

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