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A Full Circle

I am lost in this vast world of hate and anger where the root of all conflict is the inability to express oneself. I believe that it is not the Divines idea to destroy man with man, but rather man’s inability to express how they truly feel without the contradicting views of others shaming an opinion. On that note, I would like to discuss the deeper thought of death. It strikes me curious as we see death all around us, whether it be through television, or the passing of a loved one. However, even if death has touched strangers, we still feel some form of sadness (for lack of a better word). And yet, we cannot even fathom the idea of death. We act with vehemence during the presence of death, while we do not understand it. Why do we all have relatively the same reaction to death? Is it because we fear the unknown? Or perhaps we fear the pain that appears to inevitably be the prefix. There is no way to replicate death and the irony of it. For it is a mysterious event that only an individual can uniquely experience for his or her self. However, one's experience with death is shaped by the life they lived. It must be true that a human’s life full of regret will likely have a different death experience than one who only bathed in peace. Therefore, a way of life is in a sense a way of death. Is that why we are told to live a good life? At this point in my life, all I know is that my body and spirit division will not be of positive value as I feel that my life has not yet began. I look for the beautiful memories and while there are some, none has truly shaped my life or impacted it in any truly positive way. When will life start? Is it merely my inability to start it or will time commence my living. It wouldn’t make sense for time to commence my living when it is currently in the process of shortening it ever so slowly. The irony and mystery of life is that we are dying while we growing, learning, and in the moments of feeling utterly alive. How do we hold onto such moments before we fall into the monotonous river of dull normality where we lazily drift along for a decade or two? The river may in fact be my biggest fear in life, even more than death. For if I fall in, I know I won’t be able to swim against the current. To make an impact on this world is to stay out of the river. However, a task seemingly as large as it sounds is also terrifying. Is that why the number of tragic events have exponentially grown lately? It is extremely easy for one to make a negative impact on this world, but the positive ones will be remembered for eternity. If only people understood and perhaps could change their ways of impact to help everyone.

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