The essential, pocket emptying, wonderfully smelling petroleum is the latest fad and the ticket to one of my favorite pastimes. The environment is healthier than ever, patrolled by up-to-date larger police cars with the new donut-stay-fresh technology built into each console. Other improvements to technology include little electronic boxes cell phone companies attach onto every gas pump for adding minutes to cell phones when you’re looking forward to a long drive. On the road where you see the patriotic lights rarely flash by there is so much patriotism to be recognized. Every morning when I get behind the wheel I can look forward to the people who decide one lane is big enough for two cars and tries to snuggle up against my car. Usually they look shocked when they realize I’ve swerved to try and make room for them since everyone knows sharing is caring! The only way I truly know I’m going the speed requirement is when another citizen lightly taps the back of my car with his, going 70 mph. Those who cause these minuscule accidents usually have a piece of scratch paper given to them by our law enforcement to write their information down on for insurance reasons. I can always count on seeing them fly past me after switching lanes and then share the well known friendly hand gesture that could never be used too much once we have exchanged information and are back on our way. After incidents like these I can always count on grandma honking at me, to raise my spirits by saying “good driving darling”. This usually happens when I’m driving with no immediate rush and try to snail my way down roads only going 5mph over the speed requirement while trying to avoid being the victim of another accident. Once I get on the highway I’m always happy to see people who take advantage of the extra right lane in traffic. Why would they pave it if people weren’t supposed to drive on it? I’ve never received a better present then when were going 100mph and the person in front of me throws their breakfast trash out of the window and it splatters against my wind shield leaving me blinded until I remember they put wind shield wipers on solely for that purpose. Once I get off on my exit there is always a source of entertainment on road ahead since many people forget the speed requirement is lowered once off major highways. Some cars pretend to be pin balls moving in and out of tiny lane spaces to get a few extra yards ahead of the rest of us, which is completely worth it. It’s so interesting to watch how close they cut it just to get a couple yards ahead before they get stuck. After a long day of work and resting from the excitement of being behind the wheel I get back in my car for another round. On my way home when I get bored of watching others extreme driving I play a game with the cars behind me which is one of my favorite pastimes. When they get so close that our cars can almost kiss, I slam on the breaks to say “ha-ha gotcha! Wasn’t that fun?” For some reason I don’t always get the laughing response I deserve. What’s wrong with a friendly reminder that you should leave an inch for every 10 miles an hour? Today, almost everyone does, except for the occasional person who is lucky enough to play my game. Oddly enough they usually give me my space saying, “Wow a whole foot between two cars isn’t that bad!” There’s always a spoiled sport that freaks out when their car gets ridiculously close to mine, but where’s the fun without a little danger? Almost everyone drives perfectly; it must be because of the prestigious institutions that pay such close attention to our driving skills for a microscopic price. I guess the speed requirements are just too slow to keep up with the every day hustle bustle.
You Drive Me Crazy
January 16, 2009