My fear of rejection and being judged made me become that girl. That girl who barely talks, that girl who gets calls only before exams to get asked about questions (not to hang out or chat), that girl that people approach only to ask about the home work answers, that girl who gets tagged along into the cliques because I am friends with the loved and admired girl, who happens to be my one and only best friend who understands me and sees through me. After spending almost a year with her, being acquaintances and having casual relationships, I was finally able to be really me around her and open up, and she did too.

My fear of rejection and being judged is chaining me. I think and debate before speaking any word and before doing any action. This fear is restraining me and I cannot seem to free myself. I am tired of over thinking matters. I am always thinking about what people might think about me if I say what is in my mind or do any action.
My fear of rejection and being judged is putting me down, making me invisible, making me look as if I know nothing and absolutely clueless; when in all honesty, I am nothing like that. I know that I do have many things to say. I know that I have what it takes for conversations. I can talk about all sciences, technologies, politics, fashion, and music. I can talk about stories, novels and poetry. I have a sense of humor and can crack the best jokes. I know for a fact that I can be that girl who can fit in almost everywhere, but my fear is always restraining me from being that girl that I am and I want to be.

That outgoing me which is being held captive by my over-thinking brain is dying to break free and get out. I want to let her out so badly but I seem to never be able to unlock that side of me. I am the person standing in the way of my own self if that even makes sense and I can't shake myself off the way no matter how much I try...