Who is Stopping You

April 29, 2014
By Anonymous

Ideally one wants to live their life in some type of order, go to college, meet the love of their life and build a family right? Well it is the twenty-first century and I think it is very clear that is not how it always plays out. Sometimes things do not always happen according to plan. Life is full of different journeys and adventures and even mistakes, but not all mistakes are negative. In some cases they can be life changing. In the U.S. the number of single mothers are continuing to increase with many opinions to follow. The disapproval given by society to single mothers is unfair due to the stereotypes and negative assumptions. The assumptions about single motherhood are often made due to thoughts of financial issues, emotional effects of the child and the ability and/or status of the mother’s care for a child. There are many reasons and issues that lead to single parenthood but this does not have to create negative judgments to the title of a "single parent".

Single parenthood is not necessarily easy in the sense but this does not mean it is impossible to raise your child with the correct care. We should not let society control the outcome of single parents and families by basing their knowledge off solely statistics. Single parents are strong, determined and perfectly capable. It is said to say while many single parents are the result of divorce most single mothers suffer from poverty in attempt to raise their child on their own. Statistics show the difference in the percentages without a spouse present, unmarried mothers, and children of divorced parents. The Pew Research Center states that fifty percent of single mothers are divorced. In cases dealing with divorce comes many court issues. Some reasons for a single mother’s poverty are due to the failure of paid child support from the father. “It is nearly impossible for a woman with an average salary to support children on her own, including the expenses of school, clothes, food, transportation, and other necessities; and this is just the middle range of the spectrum”. (“Single Motherhood and Teen Pregnancy”) That being said, it is not fair or just for society to blame single mothers for challenges faced. Not only is it difficult to support a stable family with two working parents in this economy, but also it is incredibly hard to do it alone while also providing your child with the basic needs of love and care. The government also plays an important role with the coverage of single parents. The U.S. overlooks the hardships of single mothers and do not offer substantial aid to benefit them. Our country should want to help those in need instead of wasting their money on meaningless matters.

Another reason for the increasing numbers of single mothers is the rise in teen pregnancy. At this young age one can barely take responsibility of themselves, never mind a child. Teens who choose to keep their child think dropping out of school and getting a job to support their little family is the best option. In the long run, they are wrong. Like I said before most single mothers are suffering from poverty because they cannot afford to be stable alone. This is the cause of little education. Forty-nine percent of unmarried mothers have a high school education or less. The leading reason for high school dropouts result in priorities of parenthood. Although this may be true, I have seen many of my friends as single mothers, at the young age of nineteen graduate high school and go on to earn a degree. All doing so while raising a child. These statistics are meant to scare us but it should only make us want to strive and prove everyone wrong. I am not an advocate for teen pregnancy and parenthood but if that is the challenge one chooses to face there are plenty of resources in our communities to make that possible.

The most controversial reason of all is the desire to be a single mother. It is looked down upon. Society says it is the mother’s fault she is raising the child on her own. What if the father is a criminal or a domestic abuser? That is certainly not the prime example of a father figure. Single parenthood can be the solution in some cases like these. Although it may be a hard road to follow, in a mother’s perspective it is the in best interest of the child. Their childhood and upbringing is an important value. It shapes their whole life. If a mother wants to raise her baby without the father present this does not make her a bad person. If anything she is being brave and independent. Being a single mother by choice can also be a result of adoption or maybe your just thirty-five and single and cannot wait to have a baby girl. Either way the choice is yours and no one should be judged for that. Single mothers do not lack any of the qualities or characteristics of mothers with a spouse. They are perfectly able and fit to raise a child as the rest of them.

One last trending opinion I would like to touch upon is the overall effect on the children. Society claims single parenthood and divorce take a serious toll on children. This can be proven through statistics but it is true for every child? No. One is completely capable of raising a healthy, well-balanced child on their own. Many children with two functioning parents could obtain the same or even worse emotional/ mental issues just from the environment they are surrounded by. Single mothers struggle through many obstacles and seek the best for their child. If helpful therapy is needed in the long run that is always a suitable answer for this matter.

Aside from the overwhelming facts and statistics of single motherhood and parenthood, it is important for you to know it is possible. It is okay to be independent while raising a family. The up rise is single mother’s is not going to change anytime soon. Our society needs to stop being so judgmental of other’s making a statement by choosing to follow different pathways in life. We need to take a stance and prove ourselves as strong women and providers! We can change these statistics and hope one day all will accept us.

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