We are raised believing that in order to be normal is to be sociable. Everything from eating to watching movies or reading a book has become a group activity. Our society benefits those who are extroverted. It is rare for the introvert to be celebrated. An introvert is seen as a loner or a misfit. Even our school systems force introverts to be someone they are not. It is time for society to accept introverts and the things they can contribute to the community.
For as long as I can remember, I believed that there was something wrong with me. Growing up I was more on the quiet side. I enjoyed reading books and playing by myself. I had two or three close friends and that was all I needed. Because I was quiet, my parents often felt the need to apologize to people. In elementary school, I was put in Buddy, a special socialization class, in the hopes that I would become more social. Teachers often believed that I was behind since I would not participate in class and I liked to work alone. In high school, my close friends, who were all extroverts, would tell me that I came off to other people as rude or that I seemed sad. In my first few jobs, my bosses thought I wasn’t taking enough initiative. I preferred observing rather than asking question. When I went off to college and joined a sorority, I was overlooked for leadership positions. All of this because I’m a little different. All of this because I prefer to listen and observe.
I grew up with my older brother, John. He was extremely outgoing and would walk straight up to strangers and start a conversation with them. When he spoke, he spoke with complete poise. He loved being the center of attention, and he always knew how to get the attention back on him. John was never good at keeping himself company. He needed people around him at all times, otherwise he was bored. In school, he talked too much and would always get in trouble for it. He was an active participant and answered the teachers’ questions. John thrived in group projects; they allowed him to bounce his ideas off other people. He was more of an external thinker, and he preferred to talk through a situation rather than quietly analyze it. Since teachers knew what my brother was thinking, they never worried that he was behind. My parents never apologized for him being quiet. And I wanted to be more like my brother. I wished I was outgoing and popular like he was. He was a shining example of an extrovert and I envied him. His personality was more accepted than mine.

Let’s get something straight: being shy and being introverted are two entirely different things. Shy people want to have close connections with other people but have an social anxiety. Believe it or not, you can be an extrovert and still be shy. being an introvert does not mean that you are anxious to be around people. Introverts enjoy being around people but they often need time to themselves so they can reenergize. Introverts enjoy exploring their minds. This means that when introverts are being quiet they are most likely using their keen sense of observation to analyze a situation or to explore their thoughts and feelings. Extroverts, on the other hand, gain energy externally; being around people helps them to recharge. Forcing introverts into more social situations, results in introverts feeling shy. We learn from a young age to accept people for who they are. Why is it that we as a society cannot accept introverts for who they are? It is time to end the stigma surrounding introversion.

Parents need to step up. Be advocates for your children. Why should you apologize for your child being on the quieter side? Why not embrace their differences? Children look to their parents for the difference between right and wrong. Phrases like “Speak up” or “Don’t be shy” make children feel like they are not good enough the way they are. The opinion of a parent can shape a child’s future behaviors. Explaining to a child that it is healthy to have quiet time is more effective than expecting the child to change who they are.
School systems are the next place that we should be focusing on to end the stigma against introversion. In school, children learn a lot about who they are and how others perceive them. The ‘A’ student is typically the one who is constantly asking questions in class, or the person who is contributing ideas to the group discussion. Even reading a book is done as a class rather than an individual. Desks are placed in groups of four or five. All of this benefits the extrovert, but not so much the introvert. Introverts thrive independently, and are very analytical thinkers. Through observation and listening, they can pick up on difficult concepts. Classrooms need to be set up to benefit both introvert and extroverts. In doing so, it would make the classroom more efficient for everyone.
Finally, we need to address the work place. There are two types of people in the work place: the thinkers and the doers. In order for a business to run smoothly, it takes the collaboration of each of these types of people. A business cannot completely rely on one type of person over the other. Advancing to higher leadership roles is more difficult for an introvert. The people who are actively carrying out plans often get more credit than those who brainstorm the ideas. Introverts make great leaders. Their ability to listen to multiple points of view before making decisions make them ideal supervisors in the work place. Introverts and extrovert should receive equal opportunities in the work place. Each personality brings a unique perspective helping the business succeed.


At this point in my life, I am comfortable with who I am. I sometimes hear that being an introvert is a cop-out, and I could change if I wanted to. I don’t want to change who I am. I see nothing wrong with enjoying time to myself, reading a book, or only having a few close friends. I also see nothing wrong with those who choose to surround themselves with other people. Some of my best friends are extroverts and that is why I am drawn to them. I have high hopes that someday introverts will be accepted for what they bring to families, schools, or the workplace, and introversion will be seen as an asset rather than an issue.