The Undercover Perks of Being a Girl

November 19, 2008
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I know that myself and many others like me, who posses only the x-chromosome, sometimes have the notion that females draw the short end of the genetic stick. A testosterone-saturated life can often appear easier than an existence which requires general knowledge of eyelash curlers, bobby pins, and other such devices. I’m no feminist, but I also won’t abandon my droll “girl power” instincts so easily. Maybe it’s time that ladies take a look at the bright side. In the spirit of all things cliché, I have compiled a catalog of the reasons why, when it comes down to it, life is actually better as a female.

For one, the sheer effectiveness of the eyelash-bat we’ve all, no doubt, perfected is an advantage that our species will forever posses. We’ve also got a ready-made excuse for almost anything with the notorious acronym: PMS. Moreover, I must mention the absolutely hilarious Lifetime channel. The advantages of purses can also not be overlooked. It’s more convenient to not have to sit on top of your wallet, and I, personally, cannot think of a better hiding place than within the mysterious depths of a clutch or tote. Speaking of convenience, lots of times we don’t even have to open doors. Plus, we have an array of underwear choices. We’re not limited to the boxer or brief conundrum, but we could sport a pair of these if we so chose. Try fitting a man into an average pair of Victoria’s Secret panties. Girls may complain about the hassle of shaving, but at least it’s not our face we’re running the razor across. And finally, to end on one last (scientifically proven) note: females have a longer life expectancy. Hooray.

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This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

sassy_scribe_777 said...
Jun. 6, 2016 at 12:09 am
What are your opinions about the fact that women get paid .72$ to a man's dollar?
marietree101 said...
Nov. 23, 2015 at 8:05 pm
When I read the title of this article, I did not know that it would be both informative and humorous. The sentence where the author states that “…females have a longer life expectancy,” both surprised me (because I didn’t know that) and made me laugh because it was an awesome way to end the article.
ABPippins said...
May 12, 2015 at 8:30 am
Amen!Hahaha this just made my day
CaseyLeigh This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 16, 2009 at 9:33 pm
I absolutely agree! Love this! :]
Dreamer said...
Jan. 15, 2009 at 2:20 pm
The title was for sure the thing that brought me in, and I wasn't dissapointed. I think you could have expanded a bit more, and added a closing statement but all in all I liked it. :)
BeatleMania said...
Dec. 31, 2008 at 10:56 pm
Very nice! It's short and sweet; an overall easy read.
cantthinkofascreennamesoiguessthisisit said...
Nov. 29, 2008 at 5:11 am
Ahaha, I love it! Especially the ending. Well written. I'm no feminist, but it's nice to be reminded of the good things/
Sunshine said...
Nov. 26, 2008 at 12:25 am
You missed one- we can wear pants OR skirts.
sassy_scribe_777 replied...
Jun. 6, 2016 at 12:11 am
Men can wear skirts, they are just called either a shedyt or a kilt, rather than 'skirt'.
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