How to be a Disney Princess

July 17, 2013
By , Westfield, NJ
Over the last couple of decades, many people have pondered painstakingly over one important question that rises above all others: how can I become a Disney princess? Before I tell you the secret, I’m just going to warn you that being a princess is hard work. It’s not easy always being the damsel in distress and you can only reach true princess fame if you work hard and stick to a strict regime. However, if you’re incredibly persistent and you conform to the following rules, you may just find yourself in Disney’s next movie.

Always be beautiful. You must maintain a waistline the size of an apple, long, slender legs, and prefect hair. If you are slightly overweight or there is a single flaw on your body, you have immediately failed your duties as a princess.

Your most important priority is true love. And by true love, I mean someone who is rich, handsome, and most likely of noble stature. Marry preferably by the time you’re twenty. In fact, just marry as early as possible. The whole purpose of a princess is to find a prince, and if you fail at that, you are to be ousted and your princess privileges will be revoked soon after.

Thirdly, although not necessary, it is extremely helpful to come from an underprivileged background, complete with a sob story. Perhaps you’ve been taken in and forced to do chores by your evil step-mother or you’ve been cursed with an evil spell.

The absolute worst thing you could do is to get an education. No one likes a smart girl. I mean, just look at Belle. She loved to read and she ended up marrying a beast, literally.

Follow these steps and you’re on your way to royalty in no time!

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