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That Cut Could Be The Death Of Me.

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"She didn't kill herself, so it doesn't matter." The girl sitting behind me in algebra that morning was going on and on about it. Her and her friend did nothing but joke and laugh about the subject. After overhearing that, the thought ran through my head all day long. Currently, self harm is a huge problem in the United States. People think that because individuals who self harm don’t always die from it that it’s not as big of an issue as attempting or committing suicide. Self harm is number twenty-one on the list of ways to kill yourself.

I've been in many classes and group discussions where the subject of self harm has come up. Me, being a victim of self harm, it is always brought to my attention that "people that self harm do it for attention and have no real reason" or "people that self harm aren’t going to die from it, so why start it?" If people were more educated about the subject, maybe they wouldn't be so fast to judge.

I was recently in a class that was talking about a self harm assembly that all freshmen and sophomores were required to attend. I’m a senior so I didn’t have the choice of attending. My math class is full of sophomores and they were all discussing it. A girl that sits behind me in the class started to talk about it with her friend. She stated that “If someone doesn’t kill themselves by self harm, then it doesn’t matter and it’s not important.” For people to be able to say that kind thing about self harm makes me angry.

I've never been a person to judge people for their life choices. I think that life’s tough for everyone and people are constantly fighting their own battles, so to judge someone based upon self harming would make me look like a judgemental hypocrite. I'm certainly aware that the people that makes jokes or pick on people for performing such action have either something to hide or no education at all.

Have you ever looked at a person with a cut or scratch and wondered where it came from? There's a rare chance that person inflicted the pain of the cut or scratch. I look at people all the time wondering if they have the same story that I have. I have friends that know my story and aren't quick to judge about it because, they know how it feels to be alone with no one to turn to when they need help the most. Most of my friends and family don’t know my actual story of what goes on at night when they're all sleeping and I'm not.

The people that think we do this because of attention obviously don’t know the reason behind it all. The attention excuse is overused. People should be educated on this subject. So, let me enlighten you. Everyone has their own story and their own battles that they’re fighting. If you have the nerve to not take the time to know them and go straight to judging them, then there’s more to life and you need to find it.

Have you ever walked into a room and had people constantly stare at you? People that self harm and make it a little more noticeable get looked at in a negative manner. They feel like everyone is talking about them and they get called names like “Emo,” “Psycho,” or “Cutter.” You get the point. Although they’ve chosen this road, it isn't always just their fault that they’re in this state of mind.

Depression is linked to self harm. People that are pushed into depression have a greater risk of self harming. I know that this fact is indeed just that. I was pushed into depression and it lead to me harming myself. It wasn’t until recently that I began to see the cause of all my depression and self harm. Being around all the negative people was my problem. I depended on them to make me happy and in doing that I was just making myself miserable. I was trying so hard to change their mind to the positive spectrum of life that I forgot to change my mind to that place as well. The people that matter the most to me I seem to push away. It isn’t because I don’t want them around, but simply because as an individual I’m scared of being happy. In my lifetime everything that has ever made me happy has been taken away from me.

People who don’t understand what it’s like to self harm and have depression should not have a voice of how important the subject is, unless they're willing to get educated about the topic. Everyone’s story is different. Until you educate yourself and make yourself aware of why people act a certain way, you shouldn’t judge them.

Just because she didn’t kill herself doesn’t mean that her problem isn’t as important as suicide. Remember self harm is a way to kill yourself, she’s slowly killing herself even if you don’t see it yet.



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