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If You'd Only Look Into My Heart

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Normal? I'm far from it and anything but. Every day I wake up, get ready for school, walk down the hallowed halls of misery, and manage to keep my head held high. When dealing with other people I've learned that self control is everything.
Don't let them get to you; it'll only make things worse; they don't know you, they're not your friend, they only want to see you fail- that's what I tell myself day after day. I've been told to commit suicide more times than I care to count, but I would never consider that as an option- the way I see it, if I fall, they win; and I am not about to let that happen.
I will fight, I will remain strong, because no matter what life, teenagers, or whoever else throws at me, I will always have something they can never take away from me- my soul.
If people really looked at me they'd see a broken girl, one who's always been the outcast, who's never really had any true friends that didn't turn on her in a second, who gets back up when she's been pushed to the dirt.
I've been raised a fighter, I have a will of steel. To know me you have to get past my walls and I never let them down, not for anybody. I've been through things that make grown men fall to their knees begging for it to stop.
The nightmares don't help either, night after night, the faces of the people I fear most haunt me, torment me. I've learned not to sleep- if I do they will come for me.
If you really looked at me maybe just maybe you'd see me. Not just a girl who wears skinny jeans, converse, and studded belts; not a girl who loves eyeliner, Ronnie Radke, and Screamo music. But a girl who's just trying to find out where and how she fits into this crazy world of ours.




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