Forgiveness and Redemption

October 13, 2011
Forgiveness is like soap. If we really work at it and try to wipe away the mess, it can go away. But, if the mess keeps coming back, it can sometimes leave a stain that cannot be removed. As humans, we all tend to make mistakes. Forgiving the mistakes is something we need to do. A stern reprimanding may be necessary, but at some point forgiveness should be permitted.

Disengaging ourselves from the person or problem will not make it go away. People make horrendous mistakes, but we must come to understand that we, too, make mistakes. In order to recognize why the person may have made a mistake, we must confront them about it and try to put ourselves in their shoes. Sometimes it is simple enough to forgive somebody through this process, but frequently life is more complicated. We might need to take some time to reflect on the situation before forgiveness can be earned. Occasionally, the fault can be so serious that we cannot forgive thee.

A few years ago, I had a successful, thriving friendship with somebody. Then, this friend of mine started to become untrustworthy. I forgave the individual for their wrongdoings multiple times, and over and over they would mess up and I would eventually forgive them. Repeatedly, she would beg, “Please forgive me just this once, and I promise it will not happen again.” Well, it did happen again, not just once more, but many times. It took me an extensive time period to realize that the individual was making more mistakes than it was worth. She had made a mistake that I simply could not forgive and it put me over the top. At that point, I became aware of all the offenses that she had made against me, and I chose not to forgive her. We are currently not on speaking terms and my life has gotten much simpler since then. In this situation, it was a beneficial choice to not forgive, but often forgiveness can mend a predicament.

Second chances should be given, but no more than two chances. The more chances people are permitted, the more mistakes they will make. We all make mistakes and we must learn from them. We must make it clear that the individual will not be granted more than two chances. If we allow them to, they will continue to carelessly mess up. Therefore, we must be poignant when explaining their lack of numerous chances to mess up.

Forgiveness is a sacred achievement that must be respected and appreciated. If we give it away carelessly, it can become a perfunctory act that is expected; so, thinking through the reason for forgiveness is crucial. Small, insignificant errors should be forgiven, but large, imperative mistakes must be taken into careful consideration. When somebody recurrently makes an offense towards you, they should not be forgiven anymore.

Turning the other cheek is a simple way to resolve a problem. We all must recognize that everybody makes mistakes and people deserve second chances, as long as they are worthy. Although, people can make mistakes that are not forgivable. Forgiving and moving forward is something we must attempt to do. Identifying the problem and scolding the person who has offended us can often solve the problem. We must attempt to forgive those who are important to us in order to save our valued relationships.





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