Never In the Closet

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People have for a long time used the phrase, “In the Closet.” Where did this phrase come from and who created it? Well, I guess the answer to that question does not really matter because I am creating the correct phrase for someone who is not open about their sexuality.

In the Closet Cube pt. 1
I see myself younger, not in a closet but in a glass box. I am trapped in a cube with mirrors on each side. People could tell from a very young age that I was more effeminate then your average boy, and so with that led to the conclusion that I could and very likely was gay. Those people’s assumptions were correct, and many times it is very easy to point out homosexuals strictly based on their mannerisms and the way their present themselves, not on their sexual attractions.

Outside, Trying to Looking In pt. 1
As soon as you believe that you think you have honed your homosexual pointing out skills, you encounter a curve ball. You can’t determine whether someone is gay strictly on how they act.

In the Closet Cube pt. 2
Represents my story and replaces the phrase In The Closet for me. Being trapped in a box with mirrors on all the walls, the ceiling, and the floor. I was forced to look inside myself and to see the person I truly was. Although I was staring at myself, I had people around me seeing me for who truly was, even at a young age. Some believe that nobody can tell that they are gay, those people are the ones who believe that the mirrors they are trapped in are not one way and that although they are forced to look inside themselves, people on the outside of that box don’t see a mirror, they see through clear glass to the person you are trying to come to terms with. Often you will find people who do not like what they see in you. Many will throw stones at your glass entrapment to try and startled and shatter the person you are coming to terms with. They can break you down, but they can never break you, only you have the power to break yourself, don’t.

Outside, Trying to Look In pt. 2
For those of you who were or are not like me, in terms of giving off any hints of homosexuality, you too are trapped in a 1-Way Mirror box. Yet, things are switched. Although you still must look inside of yourself to who you are, you see things differently then ones who cannot hide who they are so well. For you, you see out to the outside world and the people looking at you only see a mirror. They see a mirror because your characteristics, your style, your humor, everything you represent is simply a reflection of what they want to see and what you want to give them. You are able to see people through the glass, a life that will be ruined when they see you for who you are and not that reflection of their desires they’ve known. Do not live your life for somebody else, live it for yourself, even if it means living without those people who can’t find a place of acceptance, because otherwise peace will never be apart of your life.

Coming Breaking Out
Although there are two types of boxes, there is only one way to get out, and thats to break out. To shatter the reflection you may see in yourself, the reflection that shows a person who is afraid of what others see. Or shatter the reflections of people’s perceptions that you have made for them. Breaking out for people who have mirrors on the inside of their cubes is many times much easier. People already saw you for who you are, and they help you pick up the shattered glass. While those who break other’s beliefs and reflections of who you are, will many times have more rejection. You may find yourself picking up your pieces of glass, alone. Yet, know, trust, and believe that you will find acceptance and that acceptance is stronger then rejection and it will heal all your cuts and bring you to a place of happiness and peace.

Finally, you’re free.





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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

KGrace said...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 9:39 am
Much different from what I'm used to reading. Great article.
 
kearneykid said...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 7:08 pm
Love this piece! James McLaughlin is definitely on point with this one!  Get him to write more!!!!!
 
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