Helicopter parents | Teen Ink

Helicopter parents

December 3, 2010
By Anonymous

Have your ever felt like your parents are hovering around you and getting into your business to much? Do your parents do everything for you and solve all of your problems? Helicopter parenting is becoming a bigger issue. Helicopter parenting is where a parent hovers and monitors every aspect of their child’s life NOT a parent who literally flies in a helicopter above you. Many people don't know the negative effects of helicopter parenting.

There are ways helicopter parenting could be a good thing. Their kids have a higher GPA and understands certain topics more then others. Helicopter parents help keep their kids out of trouble. It obtains a stronger bond in the family. They have more incentive to do well. They always push their kids to do their best. There are levels of helicopter parenting that are okay.

There are extremes in helicopter parenting though. These extremes cause many problems such as inflated egos where their kids think their of a higher society and deserve the best because they know everything. Causes a high anxiety level from fear of failure. Teens with helicopter parents have very little common sense. Teens suffer lack of problem solving skills. Have poor self advocacy skills. Have a hard time making decisions. Helicopter parents undermining their teens confidence. Takes away the learnings taught from failing. Causes them to miss knowledge needed to succeed.

Luanne Kelchner says “Parents who hover argue with teachers and school administrators whenever the child is in danger of facing a reality like failure. They believe their children must be perfect and don't except bad grades or failure. They are not allowing their children the important lesson of failure.”




Donald Pallock believes helicopter parenting is a bad thing. He states “To often parental interventions escalates into aggressive and demanding interference.” Dr. Robyn Silverman also states the negative impacts of helicopter parenting. “One parent actually claimed her daughter was her best friend, moved into her room and went to every class with her.” said Patricia Kashner, director of orientation and new student programs at ESU.

A mother getting involved in her daughters problems actually caused a girl to commit suicide. The mother had made a fake profile on line and pretended to be her daughter to demean her daughters x-best friend. The mother had told the police she was getting information to see what Megan (x-best friend) had been saying about her daughter on line. The last e-mail sent to Megan from the mother had said “You are a bad person and everybody hates you...the world would be a better place without you.”

Further more helicopter parenting is becoming a bigger issue. Its causing more problems and harm then good. Don't be a helicopter parent when you have kids you will regret it later. Allow your kids to have a life. Hovering is not a good thing. Leave your kids alone once and a while. Let them give their opinion and make their own decision.

You can guide them the right way but you are not always going to be their, they need to learn about failure and learn to stick up for them selves, or they will not make it in the real world. Just relax once and a while take a step back and watch your kids have fun in their life, let them be their own individual. Let them think for themselves. Parents just need to back off and let us learn and solve our own problems ourselves. If your a teen and have helicopter parents talk with them suggest options where you can have more freedom.


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