To Take "Love" Off Her Arms

December 13, 2009
By , Hillsborough, NJ
"To Write Love on Her Arms" day is one of the most accentuated holidays of our time. It's; for lack of a better word, meaninglesness, is an excuse for some wannabe "rebel" girls to go around supporting a cause to further show their "bad-a**" side. As a former cutter/ self-injury junkie, I must admit, I do not promote this organization. It is becoming so hallmark, that it is scaring the girls who need the help away. Do we need to advertise with tee-shirts? National holidays where frizzy haired tweens have their friends scrawl "love" all down their arms? We don't. It needs to be a softer topic. These girls promoting it do not know what it is like to feel the way you feel. They can never understand the emotions you went through. The tears you cried; countless band-aids and cover stories you concocted to further explain what happened. They see it as a day to show that cute boy across the room that they are involved in current issues. Most of these "benefactors" do not even know of a person who went through it. They don't understand how it feels to stand by the side of your friend, knowing last night, she well could have cut too deep and bled too much. They don't know that fear, and until they do, they should not have the right to go parading around, speaking of how terrible it is to hurt yourself. When I get these notifications on facebook, reminding me that "Monday is 'To Write Love on Her Arms' day! Don't forget!", I cringe. Walking into school with smiling faces, black ink soaked into their arms, reading "love", and tee-shirts they bought online, showing that "they care". But do they?Did they care enough to ever notice what I had done? Or any one of the many of us? No. Don't support what you don't know. I don't know anyone with an eating disorder, so I don't go around preaching to the "play ground" about it's dangers. Stick to what applies to you, and we will all be better off.

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letsmakeapizza said...
Nov. 9, 2011 at 5:20 pm
Yeah, just another "emo" poseur activity..
wannabeaphotogirl said...
Jan. 1, 2011 at 4:13 pm
I understand your frustration but i would like to point out that many of the girls I knnow that got involved with it at the beginning actually were cutters whose lives were changed by the love and support of their friends who were there to check their arms and legs in gym class as well as take away the knife or razor
author of piece replied...
Jan. 11, 2011 at 5:07 pm
Not in my school, and not with middle schoolers. They buy the shirts, take a sharpie, write "LOVE" up their arms and it doesn't make me feel safe. That doesnt look like someone I can trust. I don't like it advertised. It isnt something you share. So you need to watch how you act about it. It isn't like cancer how you support that. You don't generally try to hide cancer. Plus, cutting is a mental illness, so advertising doesn't help. You don't donate money to help someone become less depressed. I... (more »)
TWLOHA said...
Oct. 7, 2010 at 3:41 pm

Directed to Opinion Paper: I do understand somewhat to what you are saying about TWLOHA, but the fact of the matter is, that everyone is different. Just becasue you think that it is a pushy program where it is makign people hide, others will use it as an advantage to tell others about their problem. YES i understand that you will have some teenage girls.. or boys for that matter... that will want to show of their bad side. but the fact of the matter is this day is to give awareness and help p... (more »)

author of piece replied...
Jan. 11, 2011 at 5:14 pm
I disagree with you. The program does not encourage one to seek help nor does it raise awareness. There is nothing to do but wait for a friend to confide in you or see something. You can't raise money to help cure a mental illness. It's a very private matter and the shirts cause an uneasy feeling like you are being scrupulized by everyone. It is almost as if someone knows, even they they don't. Also,  people I don't know showing support for me doesn't feel too great. It is better when you j... (more »)
sallysunshine said...
Oct. 7, 2010 at 2:46 pm
We can't help what we feel, eh?  I was about to blatently disagree with you, but i realize that there is no 'right' way to respond to such an emotional topic. personally, the support everyone shows helps me--but everyone's different, as i said. I don't know. It helps spread awareness about the issue,too, in my opinion.. and it has helped feel more open, and less closed off to people who want to help (not that I go parading around saying "i used to cut myself, give me your pity", of cou... (more »)
Griffinwing said...
Jan. 5, 2010 at 9:21 am
I'm not all sure I agree, so it's sort of a half and half with me. Good job on getting your opinion out there though!
twloha<3 replied...
Oct. 7, 2010 at 2:53 pm
I understand some of the points here. But the whole method is to show those girls (myself included) that people will accept what they do. There are far too many people in the world who will turn their shoulder and tell us how ridiculous it is to cut and show your emotions physically. It's important to know that even people who haven't self-harmed could understand. And more people than you know have cut themselves at least once. Don't assume since they're cut-free that they don't injure themselve... (more »)
Griffinwing replied...
Oct. 8, 2010 at 7:57 am
I think its important that awareness is spread. After being there myself, I know how SI can ruin your life. I don't want anybody to ever have to go through that.
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