Behind the Eyeliner Mask

May 13, 2009
Some people have masks. They can be made out of paper, plastic, or other materials. Mine you ask? Mine is made out of foundation, eyeliner, eye shadow, and mascara.
I walk from class to class, cowering, hoping no one can see past my caking makeup. As each bell rings, I contemplate the harsh words said to me, and think ahead to the many more that will come in the next hour. I think that by coating the real me with layers upon layers of cover up, I can somehow escape the cruelness of today’s world.
Mascara is used to make your eyelashes appear longer. Eyeliner is used to make your eyes appear bigger. Foundation is used to make your skin appear even and perfect. Zit Cover-up is used to make your T-Zone appear to be cleaner. And eye shadow is used to make your eyelids appear to be some color that they are clearly not.
There is a common word said in the last paragraph. Appear. I foolishly think that with the flick of a mascara wand, I can make myself appear to be better, or something that I am not. I think that by the quick stroke of an eyeliner pencil, I can make myself appear bigger, stronger, and cooler. I think that with the simple action of applying foundation, I can make myself appear like ‘the other girls.’ I think that with the dabbing of a Zit Cover Up brush, I can blot out everything I used to be, and everything that I stood for. I think that if I gently brush my lids with a dark shade, I can make myself appear to be someone I am not, someone that I think is better, someone that I don’t want to be but feel I have to be.
I feel naked without my mask. I look longingly at the models and wish I could have ‘what they have.’ By covering up everything that I am, I think that I can be more like them. There is something wrong with this picture. Because I do this, I am slowly destroying the old me, the good me, the original me. By placing too much emphasis on what I look like, the mask that has started to harden will begin to become more and more difficult to wash away.

Join the Discussion

This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

HiHi said...
Nov. 30, 2010 at 10:50 pm
I love how you were saying "I think I can become better, cooler, stronger with the flick of a mascara wand" and things like that. Powerful message, I loved this! 
MiuBlaze This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 1, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Hmm, I like! I know some people who tend to....envy bodies, as disgusting as that sounds. lol. I've never seen people cake make-up, must be uncomfortable. Love your writing! :)
Site Feedback