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Burger King Here I Come

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As my high school career comes to an end I have decided to explain the best possible way to fail high school. If you are one of those people who were unfortunate enough to pass middle school then you are probably stressing how in the world I will be able to fail high school. Don’t worry, I have a fool proof way to fail all of high school. You no longer worry about all the work it takes to fail high school. By the end of this paper I guarantee that you will have at the most a 1.0 GPA, no job and absolutely zero knowledge whatsoever on anything that you may need later in life.

First things first, you’re going to want to ditch the first two weeks of school because this is when teachers tell you what is going to be done in their class all year. This will established to teachers that you are a slacker and need to be watched a little more carefully. Next, you need to walk by the principal and talk loudly about how many illegal substances you have done on school grounds. This really sets you up quite nicely to fail high school because the school administration will take you out of school to the paradise called In School Suspension (ISS).

Since you have already been labeled as one of the “bad kids” your job at failing high school has now become incredibly easier. Any time a teacher asks you to do anything you need to raise a big fit about it. A good example is if a teacher tells you to take off your flat bill hat, you reply with several expletives while throwing the hat as hard as you can at the teacher’s head. Once you have done this you will be escorted to the office to be told how many times you will have to go to either ISS or OSS. Furthermore you will have to be escorted around the school from now on, due to your previous actions. This is just another great step in failing high school.

At this point in your freshman year you’re going to want to proceed by skipping out on a couple of classes each day. This will make it so you are called down to the ISS room once a day to find out why you are missing classes, just in case you are not already in ISS. This process of course will take up to 25 minutes, all the while you’re missing the class you were currently in putting you further and further behind in school work that you weren’t going to do any way.

Thus by the time you have finished reading or trying to read this and trying to put this plan into action you are most definitely well on your way to knowing all the tricks to failing high school with ease. Once your time has come to drop out of high school you will be able to pass along all of these wonderful ways of destroying everything you may have had going for you in life. I wish you the best in your future endeavors.




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