Gaglicious Girls

May 1, 2009
Shrill giggles, squeals of fright, and constant blathering over boys. These typical girl behaviors drive everyone within a one hundred radius insane. Girls are obnoxious and have cotton ball brains.

First off, girls are stupid because they wear impractical clothing. Girls at school wear skimpy tank tops, flip flops, and miniscule skirts. The problem with this? It’s the middle of winter, where the highest temperatures don’t even scrape ten degrees Fahrenheit. And the worst part: these bibmos complain about being cold. DRRR! If they were wearing real clothes, then their complaints would be valid, but because they are so focused on showing off chicken legs and knobby knees, they ignore what tiny cotton pieces they have for brains and dress like they’re in Hawaii. When all their phalanges fall off from frostbite, no one will pity them because they are just stupid.

Not only are girls incompetent fools, they are annoying. Say a girl just painted her nails her favorite shade of cherry red. Then, Heaven forbid, she chips a nail! She’ll wails for hours over the imperfection that only she notices because the chip is no bigger than a pin prick. And if that isn’t enough, if one strand of hair falls out of place, the rest of us have to prepare for the second great flood of tears. It’s not like anyone is going to point the girl out in front of the whole school and ridicule her ‘heinous hair.’ GET OVER IT!

Girls need a reality check. No one scans them with a microscope every second of every day, so they don’t need to pull out their violin voices every time something goes wrong. And it wouldn’t hurt them to wear some clothes in the middle of winter…

Join the Discussion

This article has 13 comments. Post your own now!

Lindsey31 said...
Apr. 5, 2012 at 9:54 pm

By the way, you portrayed a small percentage of the girl population. We aren't all like that - shrilly and obsessed with being noticed.

Anyway, go Minnesota, and go Duluth! <3

Please read some of my work.

ZeeBYoung said...
Jul. 16, 2011 at 10:16 pm
This is the exact opposite me. I'm a girl but Im a very smart and observant girl and I could care less about how people think I look. I dress to make ME happy, not everyone else.
Lindsey31 replied...
Apr. 5, 2012 at 9:52 pm
I completely agree with you! Though sometimes I feel uncomfortable with myself, I don't care what other people think of me. I can't change who I am, and I know that; individuality is what makes people different, but that is normal. Girls freak out about the littilest things and I just laugh. No girl should feel unwanted or not beautiful just because they aren't perfect. If they think they have to be perfect, they'll never learn to love their self.
J. Rae said...
Oct. 3, 2010 at 6:02 pm

It is like the opposite to me. Guys can just act so immature sometimes, and I wonder if tehy ever think anything through. Do they honestly think acting like an idiot will impress me?

You should have said "some girls" instead of just "girls". You said that girls have cotton ball brains, and I can tell you so many girls who are so smart, and guys who can act plain (sorry) stupid, like a cotton ball brain would be a step up for them. What I'm trying to say is, it's not all girls who wear ... (more »)

nnc97 replied...
May 5, 2011 at 10:35 pm
Thank you!!!! Cause not all girls are like that!!!!
Babylufin said...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 8:53 pm

Many girls do act like this, yes. And it is completely ridiculous and full of insecurity, or just plain out heads shoved too far up their butts. I do think though, that you shouldn't make the statement 'girls'. Because 1: GIRLS aren't the only ones that act completely ridiculous like that, and 2: A lot of girls DON'T act like that, and this is just stereotyping us as women. I think you will have a lot of higher ratings if you don't stereotype Perfectionism into Girls. But I thought this was v... (more »)

irrara12 said...
Jun. 15, 2010 at 2:33 pm
this is really funny, i'm a girl and i noticed that some of the stuff in your article i do...i like it good job.
ReflectionsofYou said...
Feb. 25, 2010 at 7:25 am
I'm a girl and I'm definately not like that. I try really hard to not be like those really girlly-girls because they annoy me so much. Nontheless their just acting like themselves. Or what they consider that to be. I just brush it off.
little-miss-sunshine said...
Jan. 27, 2010 at 4:26 pm
I know you said you exaggerated but girls aren't all like this, so maybe you could change the girls, to some girls. Other than that though I like it!
thea22 said...
Dec. 13, 2009 at 8:30 pm
LOLOLOL i hate ppl like this. they r so annoying to be around. skinny jeans r wayy better than skirts
BrightBurningCampeador This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 3, 2011 at 6:47 pm
I read somewhere that skinny jeans are bad for muscles and blood flow.
mollypop013 said...
Sept. 17, 2009 at 2:58 am
I thought this was really funny. I'm a girl, and I certainly don't act like this, but I've met other girls like this. I don't restrain myself from yelling "put some pants on then" when I see ridiculous chicks wearing skirts and winter and complaining about the temperature.
BellaLuna said...
Aug. 21, 2009 at 3:22 pm
LOL! NIC3! n i think if you r a dude yea u do a girl im not like this. BLACK NAILPOLISH and LONG JEANS no skirt BLUCk
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback