Gaglicious Girls | Teen Ink

Gaglicious Girls

May 1, 2009
By Anonymous

Shrill giggles, squeals of fright, and constant blathering over boys. These typical girl behaviors drive everyone within a one hundred radius insane. Girls are obnoxious and have cotton ball brains.

First off, girls are stupid because they wear impractical clothing. Girls at school wear skimpy tank tops, flip flops, and miniscule skirts. The problem with this? It’s the middle of winter, where the highest temperatures don’t even scrape ten degrees Fahrenheit. And the worst part: these bibmos complain about being cold. DRRR! If they were wearing real clothes, then their complaints would be valid, but because they are so focused on showing off chicken legs and knobby knees, they ignore what tiny cotton pieces they have for brains and dress like they’re in Hawaii. When all their phalanges fall off from frostbite, no one will pity them because they are just stupid.

Not only are girls incompetent fools, they are annoying. Say a girl just painted her nails her favorite shade of cherry red. Then, Heaven forbid, she chips a nail! She’ll wails for hours over the imperfection that only she notices because the chip is no bigger than a pin prick. And if that isn’t enough, if one strand of hair falls out of place, the rest of us have to prepare for the second great flood of tears. It’s not like anyone is going to point the girl out in front of the whole school and ridicule her ‘heinous hair.’ GET OVER IT!

Girls need a reality check. No one scans them with a microscope every second of every day, so they don’t need to pull out their violin voices every time something goes wrong. And it wouldn’t hurt them to wear some clothes in the middle of winter…

The author's comments:
For my creative writing class we wrote rants about things that bothered us. We were supposed to exaggerate, I don't really feel this strongly about high school girls.

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This article has 13 comments.

Lindsey31 GOLD said...
on Apr. 5 2012 at 9:54 pm
Lindsey31 GOLD, Rockford, Minnesota
11 articles 11 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
LIVE life ~ LAUGH always ~ LOVE lots

By the way, you portrayed a small percentage of the girl population. We aren't all like that - shrilly and obsessed with being noticed.

Anyway, go Minnesota, and go Duluth! <3

Please read some of my work.

Lindsey31 GOLD said...
on Apr. 5 2012 at 9:52 pm
Lindsey31 GOLD, Rockford, Minnesota
11 articles 11 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
LIVE life ~ LAUGH always ~ LOVE lots

I completely agree with you! Though sometimes I feel uncomfortable with myself, I don't care what other people think of me. I can't change who I am, and I know that; individuality is what makes people different, but that is normal. Girls freak out about the littilest things and I just laugh. No girl should feel unwanted or not beautiful just because they aren't perfect. If they think they have to be perfect, they'll never learn to love their self.

on Nov. 3 2011 at 6:47 pm
BrightBurningCampeador PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
42 articles 11 photos 333 comments
I read somewhere that skinny jeans are bad for muscles and blood flow.

on Jul. 16 2011 at 10:16 pm
ZeeBYoung BRONZE, Coatesville, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away from them, and you have their shoes. :)

This is the exact opposite me. I'm a girl but Im a very smart and observant girl and I could care less about how people think I look. I dress to make ME happy, not everyone else.

nnc97 said...
on May. 5 2011 at 10:35 pm
Thank you!!!! Cause not all girls are like that!!!!

J. Rae said...
on Oct. 3 2010 at 6:02 pm

It is like the opposite to me. Guys can just act so immature sometimes, and I wonder if tehy ever think anything through. Do they honestly think acting like an idiot will impress me?

You should have said "some girls" instead of just "girls". You said that girls have cotton ball brains, and I can tell you so many girls who are so smart, and guys who can act plain (sorry) stupid, like a cotton ball brain would be a step up for them. What I'm trying to say is, it's not all girls who wear mini skirts and shorts that almost show their bottom during the winter.

Babylufin GOLD said...
on Jul. 29 2010 at 8:53 pm
Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
13 articles 2 photos 230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you Lord, for this future you've given me.

Many girls do act like this, yes. And it is completely ridiculous and full of insecurity, or just plain out heads shoved too far up their butts. I do think though, that you shouldn't make the statement 'girls'. Because 1: GIRLS aren't the only ones that act completely ridiculous like that, and 2: A lot of girls DON'T act like that, and this is just stereotyping us as women. I think you will have a lot of higher ratings if you don't stereotype Perfectionism into Girls. But I thought this was very true in most areas, equally discusted with girls like that as you are, and yet still completely hilarious. Good job making a huge issue something able to be read and known.

Please take a look at my work?

on Jun. 15 2010 at 2:33 pm
irrara12 BRONZE, Columbia, Maryland
3 articles 2 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
not all who wander are lost-jrr tolkien

this is really funny, i'm a girl and i noticed that some of the stuff in your article i do...i like it good job.

on Feb. 25 2010 at 7:25 am
ReflectionsofYou GOLD, Mason, Tennessee
10 articles 0 photos 107 comments
I'm a girl and I'm definately not like that. I try really hard to not be like those really girlly-girls because they annoy me so much. Nontheless their just acting like themselves. Or what they consider that to be. I just brush it off.

on Jan. 27 2010 at 4:26 pm
Lost-In-Life GOLD, Whitby, Other
11 articles 0 photos 299 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's never to late, if it weren't for the last minute many things would never get done!

I know you said you exaggerated but girls aren't all like this, so maybe you could change the girls, to some girls. Other than that though I like it!

thea22 GOLD said...
on Dec. 13 2009 at 8:30 pm
thea22 GOLD, Queens, New York
11 articles 0 photos 16 comments
LOLOLOL i hate ppl like this. they r so annoying to be around. skinny jeans r wayy better than skirts

on Sep. 17 2009 at 2:58 am
mollypop013 BRONZE, Niagara On The Lake, Other
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment
I thought this was really funny. I'm a girl, and I certainly don't act like this, but I've met other girls like this. I don't restrain myself from yelling "put some pants on then" when I see ridiculous chicks wearing skirts and winter and complaining about the temperature.

on Aug. 21 2009 at 3:22 pm
BellaLuna1 BRONZE, Ozone Park, New York
2 articles 0 photos 93 comments
LOL! NIC3! n i think if you r a dude yea u do a girl im not like this. BLACK NAILPOLISH and LONG JEANS no skirt BLUCk

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