You Don't Care About Life?!

April 21, 2009
By Anonymous

As I sat about in a day at my current school, my classroom was all awfully talkative, it gets me annoyed that I have to recieve the punishment just for acting the right way. "We are a team" mentions one of my 6th grade teachers. A team you say? But if I do good, shouldn't everyone get the same grade, such as we're all getting the same punishment. Afterschool, occassionally I talk to the kid thats been getting us in trouble. He simply answers. "I don't care." So wait, if he doesn't care about the school, won't that mean he won't get a good job in his future, by glancing at him, his direction is far left than right. That road is irregular to his eyes. At recess, he really likes to take advantage and often shoves and pushes many innocent children outside. Is he your typical bully? He seems to never care about any schoolwork, I don't ever see the student perform any movements with his pencil/pen. I never see the child turn in any homework assignments. What is up in his brain? He also makes very inappopriate sounds at the painfully wrong time. (During SERIOUS testing hours.) I'm starting to think, if he doesn't care, he probably doesn't care in life either as well. I had this student in the previous school years, it was the same action patterns over again, year after. I really hope this kid shapes up well, as I noticed some qualities over him. I hope he realizes what he is doing wrong and starts to fix the broken pieces, piece by piece..

The author's comments:
I was influenced by writing this from someone in our class but this never actually happened seriously.

My first writing piece on TeenInk.com
=-)

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This article has 4 comments.


on May. 19 2011 at 10:07 pm
the_crazy_one BRONZE, San Jose, California
3 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be yourself, and do what you want, because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.

Oh, and I just wanted to say: Great tile! It was a great hook, what drew me into the article :)

on May. 19 2011 at 10:07 pm
the_crazy_one BRONZE, San Jose, California
3 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be yourself, and do what you want, because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.

First, I want to say, I really like the message in this article. A slightly less extreme version of this is basically what everyone in my grade acts like, with the exception of two or three people. I get very annoyed by this, and I also hate that when just several people are talking, the entire class gets the punishment.

The message was important, but the way you delivered it was less superb.I think you should look into maybe turning this into an essay, or a longer post. Or maybe a story, or something of that sort. Polish it up a little, make the writing a bit more interesting, that sort of thing. And another thing: somewhere in the middle, there was a sentence that really irked me, the one about him making inapropriate noises during seriously important tests. Can you maybe re-phrase that somehow??

Again, the message was totally awesome aand I wish more peple would writie pieces like this. Good article!!(Especially for your first writing piece on TeenInk =D )


on Oct. 11 2010 at 10:40 am
earlybird_8 BRONZE, Roberts Creek, Other
4 articles 0 photos 116 comments

Favorite Quote:
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

While it's great that you feel confident to write about how you feel, you might have wanted to polish this piece a lttle more before you sent it into teen ink. I had difficulty understanding what you meant in certain passages where you misplaced commas/words.

Mrs. R. said...
on Sep. 8 2009 at 2:20 pm
I commend you for writing your thoughts down and for expressing them so well. Keep it up, I hope that there are other students in school who are inspirec by what you write.




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