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The Best Way to Handle Manipulative People
Don’t waste your time dealing with manipulative people. The only thing they want to do to you is to use you for their own personal interest. In society, you will meet many different types of people. There are people who may love you, hate you, dislike you, and others who wants to use you for their own confidential purposes.
Manipulative people are selfish, but at the same time they can be very witty. They know how to get what they want, even if it means hurting others along the way. In friendships especially, they will try to manipulate you for their own benefits, yet they treat you unfairly compare to others. “‘They truly believe that they know better than anyone else and the perspectives that other people have are irrelevant,”’(Dineen) explains Dr. Salamon . Manipulative people are capable of making you feel so worthless and weak to the point where you would do anything they say to prove you mean something to someone. If the only way to get what they want is to stab you in the back, they would not hesitate and do it quicker than a heartbeat. Whether at work or inside a friendship, the easiest and most efficient way to deal with a manipulator is to trust your judgement and stand strong beside your beliefs. Manipulative people are the worst. Not only are they hard to deal with, but they will destroy you if you ever let them get too close.
I’ve not necessarily had any deep friendships with manipulative people, but I’ve noticed a few people who may be dishonest. At first, I felt like I could’ve built a foundation of trust with them in the future, that they were reliable. They turned out to be the complete opposite of what I expected. They lied to me about everything and manipulated my trust. They expected me to believe their lies. They expected me to be a loyal friend when all they did was lie to me. They were never there for me when I needed them.
It’s not always easy to deal with manipulative people, but there are definitely a few ways that you can use to avoid/handle them. You could for example:
1. Ignore everything they do and say and act like they don’t exist(Celes).
2. Recognize your rights and understand when they are being violated. If you do realise that your personal space is being offended, stand up and defend yourself with what you believe in (Whitbourne).
3. Putting faith in everything you do and having good judgments.
The best and most effective way to deal with manipulative people is to believe in your judgements. Who are you? What do you believe in? What are you good at? You don’t need opinions of others to define who you are and what you should be doing with your life. “You know what’s best for your life better than anyone else,”(Hankel) states Dr. Isiah Hankel . By strongly standing by your beliefs and having high confidence, you won’t be able to let any manipulators to get inside your head. Be your own person, and don’t try to live up to anyone’s expectations.
Believing in your judgement is simply the best way to handle manipulative people. Having enough confidence to believe in what you do and not allowing anyone to change your passion will get you into a much more positive state of mind. Manipulative people will try and get in your head and force you to do what they want you to. They may act like they care about you, but in reality, they don’t. The only goal they have in life is to control you, change who you are and make them your highest priority. If you know what you’re doing and you are capable of pushing off peer pressure, then you can definitely handle them. It’s literally that simple. Take time to define yourself and work on the goals that you’re planning to achieve in life. Instead of thinking of what everyone else wants you to do, focus more on what you want to accomplish.
Ignoring whatever a manipulator has to say or do might be a good way to avoid them, but it will get you to one point where you would have trust issues with everybody. Being able to recognize and avoid a manipulator is different from being skeptical of anyone that actually gives good judgement. Additionally, you can’t always avoid them forever. There will be one day that you will come across them. Either in collaborative projects, hallways or even outside of school, you will be forced to interact with them one day.
Defending what you believe in and standing up against a manipulator is also a good idea. Establishing your rights and opposing a manipulator could solve the problem at first hand, but would it really be necessary to do so? In some situations, this step could work, but why do you feel the need to justify yourself to anyone? Your life belongs to you, and if anyone wants to criticize any of your mistakes, let them be. You don’t always need to explain every one of your mistakes and actions. If people choose to judge you along the way, so what?Why bother wasting time explaining yourself to irrelevant people? If you have faith in your opinions and goals, you won’t even need to justify yourself. The manipulator himself wouldn’t be able to bother you in the first place. Our actions reflects who we are but our mistakes does not. You don’t need to justify yourself to anyone. If you are able to strongly stand by your beliefs and define what you are made of, there’s no way a manipulator can change your mind and make you think differently.
Who cares what a manipulator has to think? If they want you to do something that you personally don’t want to do yourself, then let them leave, they’re not at all worthy of your time.
Celes. "How to Deal with Dishonest People." How to Deal with Dishonest People. N.p., n.d. Web. 28
Dineen, Cari Wira. "These Are The 7 Hallmarks Of A Manipulative Friend." The Huffington Post.
TheHuffingtonPost, 07 Dec. 2015. Web. 28 Feb. 2017.
Hankel, Isaiah. "How to Deal with Sneaky Manipulative People." Linkedin. N.p., 15 Mar. 2015. Web.
28 Feb. 2017.
Ph.D., Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Harriet Lerner Ph.D., and Leon F Seltzer Ph.D. "How to Spot and
Stop Manipulators." Psychology Today. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 Feb. 2017.