Too Long is an Understatement

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Ben Greenman of The New Yorker once asked a simple question: which one word should be eliminated from the English language? Greenman received all sorts of clever answers such as “moist” and “dude,” but even though the reasoning was as clever as the choice, it only makes sense to choose a word that nobody uses. The word “antidisestablishmentarianism” is considered to be the longest word in our beloved language. Until I ruminated about the following: “What is the longest word in the English language?” in Google’s powerful search engine, I can say with 100% confidence that I had never heard this word in my entire life. So if there is just one word too many, why not just eliminate the one people never use?

A study at Rutgers University found that the most common eccentricity found in a human being is the over usage of a particular word. Any particular person may have a different word that overwhelms their mannerism, like “awesome” or “bro,” but this study didn’t include a very important part of the puzzle. The study seemed to imply, just as the New Yorker did, that these habitual traits are bad. Sure, these words can become a bit annoying, but it is part of what makes a person a person. If we eliminate one commonly used word now, then we eliminate one common hair color, then we eliminate a pitch of someone’s voice, and eventually, we become an Aryan race.

Perhaps it is a bit of a stretch to say that eliminating a single word turns us into Nazi’s, but it is a step in that direction. It’s the little quirks that a person has that makes them who they are. So when I say that a person that calls everything “awesome” is just a bit more human because of that, you understand why. Believe me, it annoys me too, but maybe I like to be annoyed every once in a while.

Also, if you eliminate the word “awesome,” you still have to listen to the guy that says “bro” in-between every other word. You will still have to listen to the slow-witted guy who decides that “like” is the new “ummm.” Just eliminate “antidisestablishmentarianism” and nobody will be hurt.





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