Satirical Essay on Social Media | Teen Ink

Satirical Essay on Social Media

November 23, 2011
By PackerFan12 GOLD, Glendale, Wisconsin
PackerFan12 GOLD, Glendale, Wisconsin
14 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Winning isn't everything. It's the only thing" Vince Lombardi

Today’s society is faced with the continually growing problem of electronics and social media. What used to be considered a precious treasure is now the cause of teenage obesity, lack of concentration, inadequate communication, and above all a far less intellectual society. Cell phones, internet, video games, television all have taken over the youth in society and corrupted them into unimaginative, unqualified, dull robots. Facebook is merely a tool to drain the intelligence from teenagers until they are forced to speak in instant messaging jargon- LOL, OMG, TTYL. Twitter is a mechanism for teenagers to become hermits, living in their rooms updating their statuses every two minutes. Video games and television suck imagination from children’s minds, their eyes becoming plastered to a small pixel screen, their stationary bodies molded into the couch cushions. To stop a calamity like this from happening, there is only one option- abolish electronics and social media completely. If humanity can wipe away everything with batteries, plugs, and wires, people will become a more intellectual, responsive, exciting species on earth.

With government involvement, electronics and social media can easily be wiped away from the planet. Laws can be created making any form of electronics or social media illegal. This would include phones, game systems, and the computer. Batteries can be melted down and broken down parts dumped into land fills. Those found carrying any form of electronics or social media will be given the benefit of the doubt- this is a justice based society- and be given a warning, but the next encounter with technology could lead to life in prison or death. The banning of electronics and social media will create a safer society- less accidents and less health problems. 20/20 Eye sight will quickly increase since children are not staring at screens for hours on end, and driving will become a leisure experience when drivers aren’t dodging busy people on cell phones swerving into the adjacent lanes. The obesity rate for children will be brought down to acceptable levels because there will be no more televisions to watch while a child stuffs his or her face with potato chips. People will be able to laugh out loud not LOL and ROFLing will be no more; if people want to roll on the floor and laugh, they can do so without being constrained to a tedious text message, IM, tweet, or wall post. Teenagers will have to look at a person when talking to them not text or chat, allowing society’s youth to become far better communicators. There will be no more sneaking into the girl’s bathroom to text your BFF about the cute boy that you <3 so much, no more hiding cell phones beneath laps when your teacher thinks you are doing algebra homework. Students will not have to take out a calculator to know five times two equals ten or look on spark notes to understand that Romeo is a Montague and Juliet is a Capulet, all in all, a far more intellectual exuberant society.

Society has overlooked the many other options to solve this growing problem. Having students become educated to perform tasks without calculators, cell phones, or the Internet, raise the price of the most popular, yet least useful electronics, or have schools limit a student’s use of electronics or enforce better rules pertaining to electronics and social media could all be successful solutions but are not acceptable in this busy society. Because of this, abolishing electronics and social media would be the best and only solution to create a thriving society, to save the vivacity and intellect of the next generation of adults- the youth that can be seen at the present moment on cell phones, iPods, Facebook, and Twitter- from mass destruction by the monstrous electronics and social media. Make the right choice and give up your iPods, televisions, computers, and delete your Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter accounts. G2G, TTYL!

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This article has 26 comments.

Spambi SILVER said...
on May. 23 2017 at 5:55 pm
Spambi SILVER, Alsea, Oregon
5 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
Never change for someone else, change for yourself.

Actually Satire is meant to be a mixture of sarcasm and skill to make the reader think that this is either true or the other persons's opinion.Not to mock so your argument of satire being used to "mock" is simply wrong.

Indy said...
on Apr. 3 2017 at 10:33 pm
I want to ask what is the mean of

A GUEST said...
on Mar. 23 2017 at 4:32 pm
It's satire

on Nov. 6 2016 at 9:08 pm
Jtatsu PLATINUM, East Brunswick, New Jersey
26 articles 0 photos 77 comments
This is a satire. This is an article poking fun at social media. It's not meant to be taken seriously.

Mark said...
on Oct. 15 2016 at 8:40 am
The author needs to make the satire more obvious as evidenced by all the confusion. Sure there is satire in giving someone a life sentence for using technology, but other than that every other call to lose technology seems quite reasonable. The author needs to use exaggeration to emphasize exactly WHY is it bad to make laws against social media and electronics and make it more obvious when you do use exaggeration and say "ridiculous" things like "20/20 Eye sight will quickly increase". Maybe when you say that say something like "Disregarding all of the other causes of bad eyesight banning technology will improve everyone's eyesight by .001%, making banning technology integral to saving our children's very lives.

Alan said...
on May. 19 2016 at 1:46 pm
I don't understand this. One thing, you want to abolish electronics but tell me how are you going to get fuel for your car? No electricity = No fuel. How do you expect to make advancements in science if there are no electronical devices to help? And how are you possibly threatening a life sentence or even death to something as possessing a device. People who murder others only do 14 years in prison. And you think that Television, computer and games console rips away imagination? Then tell me how thousands upon thousands of comic books, stories, broadcasts, speeches and debates have been made solely on tv shows? And unless you're aiming that comment about teenagers need calculators to work out 5x2 then that teenager is beyond doubt underlearning. I myself spend hours a day playing video games and use electronical devices every day and i'm doing my GCSEs alot earlier than most. I've received As and A*s in year 10. What you're intending to do is to regress our knowledge a lot because we'll be stuck in the 1800s again. AND EVERYONE KNOWS ROMEO IS A MONTAGUE AND JULIET IS A CAPULET. Of course, others who dont know probably haven't studied it. This is simply an over exaggeration of the present days "problems". And without Tv, a smartphone, a pc, how will you tell simple things like the weather? You're out for a fancy dinner with your date, you look out, it's sunny and bright and when you step out, it's heavily raining and your drenched. The internet is speeding up the knowledge as everything is within the internet. It's upon the person to actually study it. Another scenario, imagine your mother is at the hospital and she could die. Oh wait, she already would be considering that there are no electrical supply to power ANY of the machines or the fact that the machines wont be there. It's too late to "abolish" electrical devices.

Ken M said...
on May. 13 2016 at 1:36 pm
Satire does not have to be funny, the use of over exaggeration as well as other aspects of satire is all that is needed. This is actually a great example of satire that is not funny, but still persuades the audience

on Jan. 6 2016 at 10:25 pm
Hey man, read your essay and enjoyed it. I am currently working on a satire essay and I am struggling to comprehend the concept of it, any help would be great, thank you.

no phones said...
on Jan. 2 2016 at 6:29 am
No school will allow students to bring their phones as it as many disadvantages.

Onavae said...
on Nov. 23 2015 at 4:24 am
Onavae, Okota, Other
0 articles 0 photos 20 comments
LMFAO!!! Yeah, right

on Oct. 2 2015 at 6:32 am
JuanJulio BRONZE, Royal Oak, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Thank you so much!!

khushi said...
on Jun. 18 2015 at 3:34 pm
Interesting.... Wants to read !!!

on Jun. 2 2015 at 10:18 am
AshleySD BRONZE, Campbell, California
1 article 1 photo 90 comments
This is a SATIRICAL piece. It is meant to mock people who hate social media.

on Jun. 2 2015 at 10:17 am
AshleySD BRONZE, Campbell, California
1 article 1 photo 90 comments
Go look up the definition of a satire

on Jun. 2 2015 at 10:17 am
AshleySD BRONZE, Campbell, California
1 article 1 photo 90 comments
This article is meant to mock people who do think that.

SAIM said...
on Apr. 30 2015 at 1:54 pm
It's ironic that I had to stare at this screen for about 7 minutes to read this article :)

guest46433 said...
on Apr. 20 2015 at 6:53 pm
This is a satire, the author doesn't really mean that.

Ken123 BRONZE said...
on Apr. 16 2015 at 11:19 pm
Ken123 BRONZE, Kirkwood, Missouri
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
But social media has become the most effective way of communicating. For example, you just used social media to share your thoughts about it. The government does not need to abolish social media, but somebody needs to teach people how to use it more productively.

swagdude7 said...
on Apr. 10 2015 at 1:31 pm
so is he being serious when he threatens to kill someone for having technology on their person. If not, this is satire

guest123 said...
on Feb. 22 2015 at 12:05 pm
this essay is just a persuasive essay. This is great but its lacking the satire part. there is nothing in here thats making fun of your point. This is the theory behind the satire.

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