The Tragic Tale of How the Hideous Dracula Became a Sissy Who Happens To Sparkle

December 30, 2009
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Unless you have been living in a cave for the past couple of decades you have most likely noticed that the vampire is no longer what he once was. He is not that hideous creature that came out at night to feed on the blood of unsuspecting humans; instead, he has become a “vegetarian” and is able to fall in love with humans. This unwanted change to the horror genre has left many wondering what happened to that repulsive creature that scared us when we were kids. What was the process of the vampire’s evolution from scary to another similar creature who, rather than being repulsive, is kind and humane? This change in the mindset of the vampire didn’t just happen overnight, but rather, gradually over a long length of time that can be divided into four periods each with its own type vampire.

In the beginning, the vampire was an actual purely scary monster. He wasn’t gorgeous and he wasn’t graceful. He didn’t have any feelings of love or remorse and he defiantly had no choice to change his ways. In appearance he was quite hideous. His skin was either purple or a darkish color. His hair, nails and teeth would have appeared to have grown, though he did not have fangs or other special features such as skin as hard as a rock or glitter. He only came out at night to feed on the blood of humans. He was created by rebelling against the church, committing suicide or being bitten by another vampire. After his transformation, his first victim would be one of the members of his immediate family, who would be found the next morning drained of all their blood. This creature of the night was truly one you never wanted to meet in a dark ally.

During the romantic period, the vampire evolved into one of its most well known types, the most famous of which, is Bram Stoker’s Dracula. This vampire was a dark mysterious creature who could pass himself off as a living person. During this transformation, he got some new abilities. He was able to change into any creature he wanted, he was able to fly, had fangs and was able to enter the minds of his victims. He was able to feel, think and to scheme. He was very smart and was able to out wit most people. Even though he was able to pass off as a human and was able to feel like one, he was not one. He was still a killer and he acted as such. This was the beginning of the vampire’s evolution

This next period of vampires, famous in Darran Shan’s Curque Du Freak and other books like it, are where things started to go down hill. He is pretty much the same as the vampire in the romantic period, but with a couple of differences. He has lost his fangs and abilities to transform into other creatures and to fly, but the major difference is that he doesn’t want to be a vampire. He’d rather be human or dead, rather than drink the blood from humans, but they do it anyway, but only for survival. This vampire is tolerable and makes for a good story, but he paves the way for a new vampire.

At last, we have come to the modern vampire. He was made famous in Stephenie Meyer’s novel, Twilight, or as I like to call it, Four-hundred-ninety-eight Pages of Bella Complaining or just simply, The Piece of Crap. This vampire causes young girls to scream for the entirely wrong reasons. In today’s view of the vampire, he has the choice to refuse to drink the blood from humans and become a “vegetarian”. He is no longer the revolting creature he once was, but rather, in the words of Meyer, inhumanly beautiful having the face of an angle, god-like and graceful, but that’s just the start of the changes she made. They can’t fly or change into anything they want. Holy water, crosses, the sun, running water and garlic have no effect on them, they are able to fall in love with humans and worse of all they sparkle. Yes, unfortunately, you read that right, they really sparkle. So if Webster defines a vampire as “a reanimated corpse held to rise from the grave at night to suck the blood of sleeping persons”, who are these creatures that dare to call themselves vampires. Well, that is an easy question to answer. They are something so much more horrible, characters in another sappy love story
You now know the tragedy of the vampire. You know how he fell and how pop culture changed him into something else altogether, something not worthy to even be called a vampire. This change that took decades to happen was unwanted and I fear that we may never get back to where we once were and where we should be but, sadly, all good things must come to an end, pity, isn’t it?

Works cited

Meyer, Stephenie. Twilight. Little, Brown and company, 2005.

Webster’s II New College Dictionary. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1995

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This article has 7 comments. Post your own now!

have_a_heart This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 11, 2010 at 10:41 pm
That was good! its so true...whatever has become of our vampires :/
readlikecrazy10 said...
Feb. 10, 2010 at 3:08 pm
I loved the article, it was very interesting. I disagree with your opinion on Twilight, I think that changing the whole vampire thing just shows that she is creative. I would hope that people won't be angry with me for changing the unicorn froma dainty, magical myth to the strongest creature on earth with electric abilities...oh, well. nicely done. :)
readlikecrazy10 replied...
Feb. 10, 2010 at 3:21 pm
i just looked at your profile and realized something: aside from the whole twilight thing, we do have a lot in common. Spirited Away and Corpse bride are some of my favorite movies, i like the shows Project runway and avatar, i play the piano, and I LOVE Hayo Miyuzaki's work. He needs to be recognized more, don't you think? You must like anime. I do, but i cannot draw. my older sister is the artist of the family. (my dad's picture of rudolph was a red dot in a bir greay cloud.)
readlikecrazy10 replied...
Feb. 10, 2010 at 5:34 pm
i meant "big gray cloud".
remym said...
Jan. 26, 2010 at 4:34 pm
I liked this. It's true, we've lost an integral part of the horror genre, which I appreciate from a distance, haha, but still see as a loss. The new vampire is an effeminate, moody, spoiled brat, apparently.
twiwrite replied...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 3:00 pm
im suprised you didnt mention anne rices interview with a vampire.
Lillith replied...
Aug. 21, 2010 at 5:42 pm
Ha. Well, I've never seen/read it so there was no point of writing about it. XD
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