Bollywood Films Fever

January 16, 2015
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We are that kind of people who far too easily fall for every trashy Bollywood flick. I haven’t watched a single Bollywood film since “Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Ghum” days. The situation  we are facing right now is we’ll go ecstatic watching a girl wearing less than half a yard of clothing dancing with sweaty faced tank-top-clad “heroes” which won’t even pass for “Okay-looking”. The height of shamelessness is we’ll be watching the entire routine with our “families”. Say What? 


Now the “masterminds behind-the-scenes" know you will be having heart attacks over the Ashiqui 2’s Shraddha Kapoor if you got to watch a new flick of her so, they dish out “Ek Villian” the well-used scripts which will be running too thin by repetitions will never tire the “Pakistani Quam” because they are getting to watch SOTY’s ‘hottie’ whaziname with her. I seriously can’t imagine watching Prachi Desai moving her anorexic body in the humongous screen of a cinema with hundred people sitting around me watching it – acting like it’s nothing unusual. Now what’s so sympathetic about a “Charsi” crazy over a bar singer? Nothing, right? But the aforementioned masterminds know how to play your button. They’ll kill the “hero” in the end and make the movie a “tear- jerker”. Viola!


Now I sincerely want to know what is so enchanting about Sunny Leone’s obscene dance in Baby Doll and Malika (Arora or Shirawat?) in Munni Badnam Hui? How do you even stand the 'smoker woman’s rough-rough voice in “Fevicol Say”? The new item tune become the song-of-the-summer/winter/fall/spring/barsaat for the mechanic-guy sitting outside his shop, with Makhi-Chashma (shades or sunglasses) enigmatically on his face, and the ‘Bari-Screen-wala’ (big screen) mobile in one hand and square-grin on his sweaty face.


What is so entertaining about manly Katrina Kaif’s performance with grubby, sweating ‘Jamadaars’ and Rikshaw-walas in Sheela Ki Jawani? You call that women beautiful when she has changed her features – eyes, nose, lips with surgery. Question to the dudes : Do you even respect her? Is she really that heartbreakingly charming and gorgeous that you just can’t resist her!


The distressing aspect of this craze is – all of us love the Aqeeda-e-Tauheed-contradicting Bollywood songs. You can hear those songs playing on every street and in every other person’s cells or iPods. Do even check the lyrics, for screaming out loud?  For instance, take this one song from Emraan Hashmi movie ‘Gangster’ – name is ‘Tu Hi Meri Shab Hai’. The contravening verse is “Tu Hi Mera Rab Hay”. Let’s take this song “Khuda Janay” from the flick “Bachna Ae Haseeno” and the offending lyrics are “K Ban Gaye Ho Tum Meray Khuda”. Do you think this is acceptable? Most songs of singer KK (Krishnakumar Kunnath) violating like these two. And this latest Ek Villian song “Galiyan” goes like “Yahin Mandir aur Madeena” and where is her Madeena? In his ‘Galiyan’. Now, if doesn’t pisses you off, then I don’t know what does! How can she even use the word Mandir with “Madeena”?


The tragedy is 4-year-olds won’t know the 6 “Kalmas” but would belt out “Tum Hi Ho” without a beat of hesitation. The catastrophic result of this fever is the Pakistani films have started featuring “item numbers” too.  Me Hum Shahid Afridi features mother-of-an-adult-daughter a middle-aged Mahnoor Baloch.  Now, the new flick “Na Maloom Afrad” is showing Mehwish Hayat in the same setting.


The new flick of the oh-so-gorgeous looking Humaima Malick with Emran Hashmi “Raja Natwarlal” is just too despicable. Its unwatchable and totally degrades the Pakistani talent and Pakistani actresses. I guess, Malick Madame forgot her self-respect in the fridge here (Pakistan) alongside her senses and morals. OK they are paying millions. Got that she’ll SUPER famous after this – but STILL! She needs some… Woah! It's useless trying!


Wait – I have to puke first before continuing.


Before I leave, lemme just tell you – the least we can do is STOP listening to these songs. Spread the word. Life is more than just watching the latest Indian flick and ‘spoiling’ it for the others, who haven’t watched, the next day. Think before you watch one again. *I know you must be hating me right now.*






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