I love you way too much. Though it doesn’t happen quite a lot, you sigh in despair about love. I’m not expert in love but let me tell you one thing. (Quite a lot of things actually)
1. We cannot choose who we fall for. Why we fall in love with someone, how we fall in love, isn’t something we’ll ever know. When we were young, we would make endless lists of how our ideal partner would be. Brown eyes, brown hair, tall, has muscles and the normal s***. But as we grow older, we realize that all those lists we spent so much time wasting never matter anyway. When we fall in love, we won’t choose who we fall for. It could be the complete opposite of how we’ve always envisioned them to be. Whatever it is, our heart doesn’t tell us. It merely shows us the way. So whatever happens, never ask yourself why you’ve fallen for them, and just let it be. Our heart wants what it wants. We cannot choose who we fall for.
2. Everything is an experience. Never ever regret anything you’ve done. This is easier said than done, given that there are a truckload of things you wish you hadn’t done. But think about it. Had you never done those things, you would’ve never ended up like this. You wouldn’t be in this moment of time. Whatever happens, the good, the bad, the ugly, it all accounts for your present. Your now. What we did yesterday results in our present. What we do now results in our future. Never regret. Learn to accept your mistakes. You’ve done something at that moment of time because you willed yourself to do it. Because you thought it was right. Growth comes with experience, not with age. The more you learn to accept your past, and learn from it, the more you grow. And to a human, there isn’t anything more liberating than growth.
3. Moving on. Moving on isn’t easy. It takes a toll on you. The pain, how excruciating it may be, will hurt. It’ll tear you apart. It’ll be the reason for your 2 A.M. silent sobs against your blankets, the messages never sent, the random break downs, and the times you zone out during the day, the sudden and unpredictable changes of mood and the loss of interest. It’ll feel as if there’s nothing good in the world. You’ll not be as confused as you will be then. Your faith will be shaken, honey. And all I can say to this is – hold on. Keep treading through each day, one at a time. Strike the days off the calendar, find something to look forward to, and confide in someone or something. Cry if you must. Cry until your ribs hurt and your throat burns. Let it consume you. But once you cry, never go back. Accept it and distract yourself well enough until you realized you made it – you’ve moved on. There isn’t anything happier than when you realize you do. And when you do, I’ll be the happiest for you.
4. Love heals. Saying that love is the strongest is arguable, a topic well debated by many. But listen. Think of the quickened beats when you feel them around you, the short lived breaths when they’re talking to you, the immense happiness that just spreads throughout you when you think about them. Think about the slow yet steady lingering in your mind of them, the calm rustles of their laughs, the way everything seems better. You’ll understand that love is the strongest. Whatever happens, love, never forget how love once saved you from your demons. Never lose hope on love. It’ll always find a way of getting back to you. And it’ll always heal your broken heart and stick the broken pieces right up.
5. Be brave. I understand why you would be scared of opening up to someone. It isn’t an easy thing to do, to tell someone each and every thing. But you opened up to me. I still marvel at your bravery. And I love you even more for it. To confide an insane amount of trust on someone is something you taught me to do. Don’t trust anyone easily, but at the same time, don’t hide yourself. Open up when you feel its right. Don’t feel forced to open up. Take your time. But when you do, make sure you’re happy you did it. Just like how you did it with me. Be fearless. Be brave. Don’t close yourself to new possibilities just because of past experiences. Never stop taking risks.
6. People change. I wish this weren’t true at times, but it is. Each day, we wake up, brand new. Each day, we sleep, slightly a different person than we were when we woke up. All these slight changes accumulate to bigger ones. So, when you look back, you realize how much has changed. Love is dynamic. Change is dynamic. That’s what makes it all the more beautiful. And always accept it.
7. Believe. That’s all I can say.
I promise I’ll be here as long as I can. Until it kills me I will. I’ll be there to annoy you, and spam you, and for you to cry onto. There’s no one who’s more important. There’s no one who’s more accepting. You’re one hell of a guy. I’ll be there to nudge you when you see the girl you like. I’ll be there when you both fight. I’ll be there at 4 A.M. when you cannot stop your raging heart. I’ll be there weeks before your wedding, documenting every moment. I’ll be there to endlessly tease you and mock you moments leading up to your first night. I’ll be here. I promise you this. I have insane faith you won’t forget me. And I know you won’t. Thank you, for everything. In this thousand-word heart-to-heart, I’ve said all I could. Never forget. And never change, but never be the same either. Hold on, take a deep breath. The best is yet to come.
And I’ll be there by your side, all through the way.