Parents have the ultimate power. They can give you a rock solid foundation, which will increase your chances of being a nice healthy person, or they can destroy you with their own issues. They can be selfish and insane, and gift you with many problems that will follow you into your adult life. Doesn’t seem fair, does it? It’s the luck of the draw.
You’re either born to loving supportive parents who won’t try to ruin your life or you’ll be born to monsters.? Of course it’s not always that black and white. You can have one solid parent and one terrible one. And of course there is the debate of nature versus nurture. I believe in a little bit of both. Is that possible? There’s just no way that how you were raised does not play a role in shaping who you become. That being said, I also believe in taking ownership over your problems at a certain point. You can only play the blame game for so long.
Regardless, I get so angry when I hear stories from my friends’ childhoods. My parents were far from perfect but they did the best they could. Today, I have a great relationship with both, which is all that matters to me. But others aren’t so fortunate. Others were put through hell when they were growing up. It’s maddening. It truly is like babies raising babies. I’m not saying you have to be a perfect person when you decide to have a child (is there such a thing anyway?), but you should be conscious of where you are in life, your willingness to be selfless, and curb your own issues. There should be a concentrated effort to not screw your kids up.
For some parents, giving their children a good childhood is impossible. Whether it’s because of addiction or just good ol’ manipulation and mind games, they start chinking away at their offspring’s sanity from day one. They have complete power over a young child and they abuse it. They’re born with a blank slate and they dirty it up throughout the years. The children are defenseless to the sanity. It’s all they know anyway. Their instinct is to cling to their parents. A five-year-old isn’t gonna be like, “Um, you guys are crazy. Peace out.” It’s going to stand by awaiting further instructions. It’s going to process the insanity as normalcy. So please stop having kids if you’re insane. Don’t bring another blank slate into this world and get it mucked up.