The Endeavor of Discipline | Teen Ink

The Endeavor of Discipline

March 21, 2016
By MY-DUDE BRONZE, Ho Chi Minh City, Other
MY-DUDE BRONZE, Ho Chi Minh City, Other
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

The act of disciplining a child is necessary to teach kids of what they can and cannot do. However, discipline has limits, if you overstep your boundaries. It could lead to your child developing disorders in the future. This is why you should not invade your child’s privacy for the sake of moderation. The act of extreme moderation could lead to an unhealthy and dysfunctional family, your child develop paranoia and trust issues, and stopping their mental growth as children.


If the parents push their limits and becomes invasive, the kid will try to distance themself from the their parents because they feel in danger. The mistrust and suspicion will grow and eventually it will tear apart the family. I grew up with my mom’s constant anxiousness towards me. She would always think that I am doing something thing devious when she was unable to keep an eye on me at home. It go so bad to the point where she installed a camera in my room. She claimed it was for her to check if I’m going to sleep in time. It felt more than just that. I felt angry and frustrated, as though she do not trust her own daughter when she say what she is doing in her room at night that she think this is the right thing to do. More importantly it made me felt that she does not trust me, and it caused a rift in our relationships. When parents become invasive in their discipline then it can come in between them and their child’s relationship. As insecureness and suspicion builds on the parent-child relationship it will inevitably fall apart, and can cause a dysfunctional family.
In addition, if you constantly are being invasive towards your child (ex. going through their phone/social media accounts, cameras to keep an eye on them, secretly going through their belongings, etc.), it can cause the child to grow up and develop paranoia and trust issues because of being constantly monitored. Unlike problems stated above, these consequences are more long-term and can plague them for the rest of their lives. Due to past trauma of being a victim to extreme supervision by the child's parent, the kid will have the feeling of someone constantly watching them engraved into their brain. Because that was how they lived their life, in constant fear of their parents going through their phones, their room and could result in them being beat by the parents. The child grew up in fear and this fear will carry on into their life. Those fear could turn into severe paranoia and trust issues. These mental disorders will make the child’s life very difficult. Paranoia clouds the person’s rational thought process with fear and anxiety, while trust issues makes it hard for one to engage in relationship due to mistrust and suspicion and could interfere with relationships between friends and family. These mental illness can destroy your child’s life and rob them of potentials.


Your child’s privacy is a right and not a privilege. A child deserve their own space, a place to express themselves. The thinking that privacy is something a child must earn from their parents is toxic and damaging. As stated above, my mother had once placed a camera in my room. Even though her intentions were good, it still angered me, to not be able to trust your own child that you gave birth to, and place so much distrust in her that you have to install a camera in her room to appease yourself. Being concerned with your child is understandable, but to invade their private space is wrong. You as a parent have the power to discipline your child, but if you misuse it, it would be considered abuse. According to MentalHelp.net, a child's privacy is essential because it helps the child develop a sense of self. By the time they’re in middle school, their sense of self only grows as they become part of social groups. As they become more aware of themselves as member of society, they need a place to themselves to grow. Without a private place for your child, it could be really damaging to the development of your child. As a parent, you should be able to understand and respect this privacy because you too, were once a child.


Parents will claim that they are doing out of concern, and goodwill and that they only want the best for their children Some may not even realized that they are doing it and how damaging it can be to childrens. However, these concerns are bringing heavy consequences for your kid, and carrying out a bad example for your kid. Not only that but, there nothing to sugarcoat here, you are literally abusing your child. You are emotionally abusing your child by harming their mental and social development, not only that but your action can have horrible mental and emotional consequences on your child over time. You are also exploiting your child's personal space and privacy and harming them for your own cause. As parents you should always talk to your child about concern, I recommend you to built trust with your child from a young age. Respect their own private space, ask them about concerns and talk to them. One of the biggest reasons why parents develop such behaviors is because of extreme weariness and suspicion for their child. By building this fundamental trust between the parent and the child at an early stage, the parent will be least likely to become invasive at their child because they know and trust them more. Not only is this preventing parents from unknowingly abusing their child but also help strengthening the family’s relationship.


In conclusion, moderation of your child is good, but you should not overdo it. Invasion on a child’s privacy can cause long term damage into their adult life. Such as paranoia, trust issues, hurting their family’s relationship, and hurting the child’s development. So next time, be careful when you discipline your children, understand what they are or are not comfortable with. Communication with your child is important to their development, as a parent you should try to understand you kids because at one point you were also a kid too.


The author's comments:

I wanted parents to understand how sometime their overprotectiveness can be very harmful for their child. Not only that but I wanted this presuassive peice as a way to share my experience with others.


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