When I think of you.  I can’t begin to describe, you make my stomach jump like a gymnast, but my body grow still, and longing for something lost or undiscovered- unknown to me. 

I can’t believe someone so perfect in my mind could even begin to care for or love someone like me.

I can only seem to believe that you would get tired of me, but not be with me even for a while.

I don’t know, I guess I just wonder where your mind goes- if you ever think of me or anyone else.  Could you ever think of me that way- or anyone- and would it last?  I sure hope so.

All I can think of in my mind’s absence is you, I long for answers to questions I’m afraid to ask.   

I always fall for people who don’t feel the same, and it kills me even when they do, because it never seems to work out.  I can’t help but wonder.  Why?  How?

I won’t let people in, and it makes me feel awful, but I don’t realize it until they leave, when I’m alone- left with my thoughts.

I feel as if I hurt them, but not on purpose- at least that’s not what I intend to do. 

I need help in this thing- love- sorting my thoughts, taking chances, letting people into the parts of me I don’t even like, so that they can help me accept them.

I want love, but I might have already found it, but not accepted it for what it was. 

Sometimes I just wish I could read people’s minds so I didn’t have to wonder what they thought, think, like, want- I would just know.

Can I?  Will I? Will you?  Do you?  No?  Yes?  I don’t know anymore, I just want to move on. Awkward?  Probably.  Worth it?  Most likely, but maybe not.  But why not exactly? 

What would we lose versus what we could gain- the answer seems obvious, but it’s one of the hardest things for me to fathom.
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The idea of us makes me happy, excited, curious, anxious, and a little sad; because even if we end up together, right now we’re apart- and I hope it won’t be long before I find out all the answers.